On Leave

I'm having a splitting headache. It must be due to the fatigue I had yesterday after Atuk's pass. I'm on compassionate leave today. I'm tuning to all the nasyid songs to entertain Iman sitting beside me and having his breakfast while shaking his body to the rhythm. Settling the online blog assignment I gave to my pupils. My head does not allow me to make a reflection on yesterday. I'll just let the reflection be in my mind at the moment.

The best month

Subhanallah, I have not been penning down my thoughts for so long. Many things were etched in my mind. Sometimes, it is hard to express my thoughts. Rather, I would just let in stay in my memory. Maybe I decided to just write something due to the meaningful month, and also I may return here to refresh any reflections that I observed this Ramadhan. I do not hope for anybody to read any of this, but more for my own reflection and benefit. If it benefits others, alhamdulillah.

I just read butterflyrubric's FB status on 'Umar's milestones. Alhamdulillah, I am always enlightened whenever a toddler starts to talk or babble something related to Islam. For some, it may not be easy to have a child. For those who have been given the ni'mah of bearing a child/children, the challenge is to bring them up right. And when a parent captures an utterance of a new word from a child, it is really fascinating. It shows the product of learning whether it is through nurture or nature.

What are the things that always make me smile about Iman?

1. Before he was 1 year old, I was always enthralled by his 'Allah' and he would keep repeating it again and again.. haha it really tickled me.

2. I always sneeze due to my sinusitis. In the beginning, he would laugh at the sight of my sneeze. At a later stage, he would show his dislike when I sneezed while bathing him. Then, he learnt to say the hamdalah in a babbling manner after HE sneezed. As he progresses, his babbling became only 'Lah'. And lately, syukur, his speech is almost near to the actual word 'Alhamdulillah' after he sneezes.

3. After solat, and reciting the du'a, if he is there witnessing a prayer, he would put up both his palms to the face as a sign of 'Aameen'.

4. He also showed the takbiratul ihram whenever we say 'Allaahu Akbar'.

5. My favourite song to him since he was a lil baby was:

'Satu-satu, Iman sayang Allah,
Dua-dua, sayang Rasulullah
Tiga-tiga, sayang ibu ayah
Satu, dua, tiga sayang semuanya...'

6. He would ask me to open the Qur'an again whenever I finished it.

7. He would automatically be in silence whenever the adzan is on air.

8. His lullaby in the car would be the song from Rabbani which is 'Bila Nur Melimpah Di Hati'.

These are just some of his words and actions which are related to his life as a Muslim. His vocabulary may be limited compared to others around his age but InsyaAllah, I really pray for his wellbeing and may he grow up to be a muslih.

Ibu loves you Hifzul Iman :)

Half way there - 1 year 3 weeks!

I think I just have to pen this down. It's one of the bigger achievements my dearest son has made with regards to his milestones. While some mothers are eager to see their children walk or 'sway' (heh), I am also one of them but I still prefer to just go with the flow and observe his development.

Before my parents departure to Jakarta last March holidays, emak made a statement and praying that he could walk after their return because Iman was holding to the chairs at the airport independently in excitement. When I brought him again to the airport for a vodcasting project, he had the same reaction.

When emak and abah returned, he welcomed them with a 'kasihan look' due to his previous vomitting since before Subuh instead of a walk. Whenever I return home from work to fetch him, his routine would be 2 to 3 steps and back to crawling position.

The big milestone happened only yesterday after dear husband's return from his kayak expedition. Iman had his usual 2 to 3 steps and crawl routine. Then emak was saying '1-2-3' and I was at a position of asking him to come to me. To our amazement, he made 6 steps forward and reached out for me!!! After that, he began to repeat the same thing a lot of times! Did not capture any video during that time because the camera battery was dead. We had a second take using hubby's Omnia after that...

Alhamdulillaah...

Love and skills

When you have the skills and talents, you're able to create wonderful things for others. Some skills which may be latent needs just a spark to make things going. My aunt is one I call creative and innovative at the same time. With her sewing skills, she has recycled cloths she made into clutch bags, purses and many other bags. The only thing is that she's not into online biz. So family members become witnesses of her creative juices and purchase them for personal use or as gifts to others. Oh, what if I help her sell her products... hmm good idea? *grins*

I also envy friends who take time to indulge in artsy stuffs and produce hand-made cards or personalised book covers for others. It's just that I myself love these kind of activities but actualising them needs effort at my present moment. Because I miss designing things during my past time. Past time now is equivalent to reading books or watching DVD with hubby or window shopping with my family...

Likewise, mouth-watering desserts or food for those who enjoy the art of cooking leaves me in full admiration for their skills and not forgetting, the passion to do it and sharing recipes online. They left me with a strong urge, to be eagerly desirous of those tantalising food galore. I aspire to do that, at least, during the weekend breaks when lectures are off.

Hehe but at the moment, nothing from the above beat the skills of my cutie pie who has been working pretty hard and putting a lot of practice and keeps improving...Alhamdulillah. There are moments where he showed his struggles when he first started. Since then, whenever I return home from work, I keep myself updated of his milestones. While playing with him, I remind myself that this is part of building his self-esteem and this should be done through unconditional love. I am sure as mums, we want the best for our child to the point that we demand too much from him and seeks perfection. Every child develops differently. What we can do and remind ourselves is to express praises to Allah in his presence whenever our child develops a new skill. This may be one of the ways of tarbiyyah for him/her to be surrounded by the beauty of Allah and Islam. I simply enjoy spending time with him at this 'cheeky' age. I'm sure dear mummies love it too!

When we build a warm and friendly relationship with our children, we establish the best opportunity for imparting strong moral and spiritual values to them--the key to high self-esteem. --muslimsmothers@blogspot.com

Of pain and medicine

It's been awhile isn't it?

Happy belated birthday to abang!


Disclaimer: A random pic taken (not 18chefs)

Had a simple dinner date with him @ eighteenchefs. We walked instead of the usual drive. Thankful that hubb wanted to walk. . All the time when hubb drives, he has to be focus on the road so we seldom chat. This way, we were able to chat while enjoying the night. The food was delicious! We also learnt a new way of ordering food from the restaurant... it was fun and a bit awkward at first. We had to read the menu to follow the instructions.. (macam baca manual)

May Allah bless you with more rezeqi in this life... Lots of love!

Apart from the joyous 'eid as a mummy (pictures to be found in FB and many other albums from the circle of family and friends), I'm destined to be at home for 2 days (today and tomorrow). One thing I don't quite favour is having to prescribe to drowsy medicines (although I'm aware of the objective of taking them). Right this moment, I'm still in the midst of waiting for the drug to take its effect.

I'm on mc because of Scoliosis. I was diagnosed with that few years back when the doc said that I had 2 humps on both sides of my back. Since the arrival of Iman, I have the tendency to look down to check on him and this might contribute to the pain I'm having. Woke up today not being able to turn my head and get up from my bed. Doc suggested that I lie flat on the floor for 15 mins everyday. That was what hubb suggested too and he always do that during his back pain days.

I also mentioned to the doctor regarding my trigger finger. Recently the pain subsided. I think the condition is not as bad as last month when it was painful at the same time to the point that I could not bend my fingers.

Ramadhan oh Ramadhan

Ramadhan, kau datang lagi membawa makna yang mendalam dalam hidupku...

Alhamdulillah! Ramadhan's here again and I'm so grateful to be able to meet this month. Of late, with regards to deaths of Muslim celebrities and also my arwah Nek Long... marked the end of them meeting Ramadhan this year. It also marks a new Ramadhan for me as a new mother to my infant.

I had been thinking, would I be able to handle Ramadhan this year? Being a full b-feeding mum, I wasn't sure how I would take it. Most of my 'free time' at work has been booked for this personal mission of mine such that I lack in completing my admin work (markings, etc). It was such a breeze earlier this year when I wanted to clear those tasks before the relief teacher comes in. I could settle marking those books/worksheets/etc. after class and after my working time. Nowadays, it is such a challenge and my stuffs keep piling and I had to chase time instead.

I even had to find space for lunch and usually I'd multi-task doing work and lunch at the same time. One thing for sure, since Ramadhan has come, there's no need to buy lunch. But just a matter of whether I can handle myself and not suffer dehydration due to the pumpings and energy sucked up from me by pupils.(hah)

This leads to one important point. I'd treasure Ramadhan and hope that I'll be able to complete one whole month since my period has not come.

So on the 1st day of Ramadhan....

-Woke up at 4.30 to cook pasta @ own home.
- Iman was fast asleep without any distraction.
- Around 5.15 woke hubb sahur.
- 6 plus wanted to perform my Subh prayers and Qur'an recitation. (I was hoping at this juncture to complete the whole mashaf since I thought with the complete fast given to me)

And Allah knows best because it has come... This is a perfect way to say 'Kita yang merancang, Allah yang tentukan...'

The new term

The first day of work landed me in an 'alhamdulillah' situation. I was expecting more than that. But I admit, there were a few changes, from some admin changes due to the pandemic to the new faces at work. There were also some addition to the department I'm in.

I failed in my attempt of creating a scheduled daily timetable for the whole week as a career woman. It was supposed to be a timetable of my daily routine as a BF-ding mum especially the time at work. I'm glad that with the current session I'm in, I am able to use the time to pump my milk. I even find a good place to pump it as long as no other people need the place. Given the fridge for my milk storage in the pantry, I felt a sense of syukur. Unlike some other mummy friends who need to buy a mini-fridge to store theirs. But like my aunt told me, and agreeing with her that my workplace should have a BFing room for mums who are high on their pumping routine. I mean, the hotbed I'm at is a female domination.

There were some glitches and challenges at the moment while trying to cover my four deferred papers. What I can say is that the challenge has started ever since I enquired about the status of my exams until present time. Alhamdulillah with His Grace, I covered one last Sunday and the other last night. I admit that having to take these papers when my leave has ended brings me back to square one. Whatever it is, I think Allah has His reasons of letting me be in this situation although efforts had been done to take it during my leave. I do not know when my next 2 papers are. Ahead this weekend will the submission of my group assignment which is still in the process of adding information. Not to be missed is the mid-term test of my short sem on Studies of Religion.

I am looking forward to the nuptial knot of my dear Huda this weekend, on which I am sure of is something that she has been waiting for all this time...

Majlis Kesyukuran ~ 060609

A nice date for a more than only a nice moment. It signified a more responsible future, to be more independent in the years to come and to feel the meaning of adulthood, like how our parents used to experience during their transition period.

And so we had our do'a selamat / majlis kesyukuran for Iman, which was the initial plan (He had his tahneek @ the mosque. So no cukur rambut @ home). But since we bought the new house and it was spacious for the occasion, we decided to make it a housewarming event too for family members and close ones.

Iman was well-behaved that day. Me and hubb thought that he was paying his overdue sleeping time as he had only been sleeping half an hour or even 10 minutes for the past week. That really took up my personal time as mak and me had to 'layan' him as he loves to stand and be carried around the house. He slept for 4 hours and woke up, after which he was passed around and only cried during feeding time.

I hardly ate that day, only to realise I missed out on some of the yummy food and delicacies at night. Was just too busy entertaining guests and quenching my thirst most of the time.

Cake brought by Cik Midah

I miss Wawan! And not to forget, the newly-wed Didi just back from honeymoon

A few of us


When the March brothers collide.. huhuh..

Alhamdulillah it went well. Hopefully this house will be a place for us to fill it with Mahabbah and Rahmah and insyaAllah rumahtangga Da'wah...

* * *

Tawazun Dalam Rumahtangga.

Berumahtangga juga bagi seorng daie adalah bertujuan untuk melaksanakan ubudiyah dan bukan untuk menghalangnya. Adalah disedari bahawa terdapat banyak ujian dan fitnah yang terdapat dalam rumahtanggga. Salah satu daripada ciri penting rumahtangga dakwah adalah keseimbangan atau tawazun.

Keseimbangan ini adalah :

a)Di antara kecintaan kepada isteri dan anak-anak dengan kecintaan kepada Allah dakwah dan jihad.

b)Diantara kecintaan kepada keselesaan hidup bersama keluarga dengan kesungguhan berdakwah di tengah tengah masyarakat yang sangat mencabar.

c)Diantara kecenderungan untuk memberikan kesenangan hidup keluarga dengan harta benda dengan tuntutan berbelanja ke jalan Allah SWT.

Para du’at perlu melalui dengan bersungguh-sungguh untuk menatijahkan keseimbangan ini kerana ramai para duat yang gugur di perjalanan dakwah kerana kegagalan mereka melahirkan keseimbangan ini dan kegagalan mereka mendidik isteri dan anak-anak untuk menerima serta melaksanakan keseimbangan ini.

anakkusoleh@wordpress

Wide awake

It's 2.05am in the morning and I don't feel sleepy at all. Maybe I've surpassed the 'sleep mode'. I've been hitting the books and surfing the net for my assignment for the module Study of Religions. Given 4 days to search for info, I asked my team member for an extra day due to my weekend paintworks @ the new abode. So, I have only 2 days to complete the draft of this assignment on B.u.d.d.hi.s.sm and yet to look into the critical analysis of the subject. That'll be later today, insyaAllah.

Working in a school, I feel blessed to have hubb to borrow the books I need at his school library. In a way, that saves my time scouting for resources and with Iman around in a library, puts me on an alert mode if he wails unpredictably.

Iman won't be awake anytime now. Perhaps at 4am? But what makes me happy, in a way is the fact that hubb will be home for 2 weeks due to his surgery! This means, that I'll have company till the 1st of June. So everyday seems like a Sunday to him? Heh...

My house is 99% complete and I can't wait to decorate! Just excited that I was able to choose the colours for our house (with hubb's agreement of course). I am currently searching for the right accessories and scheme of colours to blend in with the wall, to create a wonderful ambience that I call home. If you're asking what concept I'm aiming for? Minimalist.

Baby gifts

People can really be creative when it comes to gifts. It was last year, if I'm not mistaken. The deejay interviewed two women in the online business. One of them dealt with diaper cakes. I was really oblivious as to what that meant..'What? How can a cake be a diaper? You can't eat a diaper?' I've heard of diaper bags, of course. Much to my curiosity, I googled for diaper cakes just now and wanted to witness the look of a diaper cake. (Who said that internet invites evil? I'm gaining knowledge now. Just an opinion for those who said that internet is bad when I watched Jus! on S.u.ri.a today. Perhaps, they are the ones who are not exposed to the cyberworld, hmm..)

Back to my topic of creativity, I've been wanting to show a picture of this creative juice as a gift to Iman. A gift from my hubby's side. It's the most unique baby gift of all, because of the personal touch it has. Felt so 'sayang' to dismantle after all the hard work. But I love it!

The white and blue roses are actually Iman's clothes! Neat, huh?

Bought the book!

I've purchased the book hubby collected for me @ Bugis on the way home from work (Thanks dear!). Asked for a transfer from the main store because of the location. The one Yati shared with me is the 1st edition. This is the 3rd one with additional info. It's bigger and slightly heavier than the former.

Why the book? Well, random reads from Yati's hooked me on reading further. I felt that I have to own one as a reference in case I forget some facts about BF and I know I have to return the book to her asap. Part of the content includes a sample schedule of a working BF mother and her children. So if she could do it while tending to more than one child, why not me? I would just customize it to my current needs of a working mum later on. It's the info on working mums that made me hunt for the book. Thanks Yati dear for the book (Will return it to you when we meet soon!)

What's up ?

It has been almost 2 months... with all the hoo-haas of childrearing. I've learnt quite a number of things - from advices of others to the books I read...

+ Stocking up milk has so far been endless. I'm just worried that once I resume work, the stock I kept might not be enough. I have to start finding a way to pump at least once at work according to my timetable.

+ The BF book that Yati lent to me was very useful. I thought of buying one for myself.

+ Am still finding the most comfortable method to BF Iman while shopping. I have experienced using the sling or nothing. So far it has been successful but I wasn't that comfortable due to some personal reasons. But I'm not giving up. Just have to keep on practising.

+ Iman had his nails cut! Despite having short nails, he still wear mittens due to the mild red lines he made without it.

+ As of today, the reno work is a week and 1 day. Both me and hubby are still scouting for the necessary things for our house.

Syukur Alhamdulillah

Salaam to all..

Presenting you...

* Hifzul Iman *
- 2nd of March 2009 -
3kg @ KKH

My birth story to come... insyaAllah...

1 more week to go!

As I am writing my entry here, I wonder whether there are readers out there religiously reading to my posts recently; except uan-kun who has faithfully been tagging me as an acknowledgement (thanks uan!) Perhaps it was due to my hiatus that made some readers go away *giggles*.

Alhamdulillah, my mid-term battles were over with the end of my last paper yesterday. However, I've informed dear ustaz (as the coordinator of the programme) to differ my final papers in late March. I feel the urge to actually try to take the papers but I'm not that confident I'll be able to do that during the confinement period as I am still a virgin in motherhood.

Doc approved the leave to be taken on my EDD. Moreover, I will feel bored at home if I were to take a few days leave. Lucky that EDD falls on Monday so I'll have my weekend break as it is also my BIRK break. Yesterday might be the last day of my studies life at this moment.

On a happier note, I received an unexpected home-made card from my P5 pupils. Actually, they were the ones that I have been challenged emotionally every time I enter the door. These challenging kids, if you know what I mean, are usually the ones that'll shower you with unexpected gifts. Despite their behavioural problems and idiosyncrasies, they may actually be the ones that surprise you with all the wonderful things. I will show you the card, albeit simple in my next entry insyaAllah.

The finishing touches...

I have confirmed the date of my leave. Doc said that i need not take any leave a few days before. I'm fine with it cos I didn't want to waste any leave. Moreover, before my actual day are the weekends. So I have a week more to handover stuffs to my relief provided that she'll able to come next week plus other admin stuffs to settle with the pupils as well. ON the hindsight, I was suppose to conduct the workshop yesterday. At the very last minute, they changed it to staff meeting instead of department, so again, I had to postpone the workshop. This is what they say, we plan but God decides. So, next week is the last chance for me to share something because this initiative involves few levels. I can't rely totally on the others because they have their own tasks. Next week, I hope, I hope...

On the contrary, I received the new stroller last Monday from my cousin! So kind of her to present me with the gift which me and hubb had chosen. Thank you K Erlis! Mak also likes the stroller and its functions. No, it's not quinny, heh too expensive to ask them although they wanted to sponsor any brands.

Yeap, I've packed. But don't think I'll be in labour anytime next week. Huhuh. I'll just let this cute lil one hibernate in my nest for awhile.

Oh-oh-oh

At the last stage of battlefield...

This is the current week of rushing hour where I try my best to settle all the paperwork that I can bear. Trying my best too, to bear the lil one here and there. Keep changing positions in class by sitting at one point, and walking the next.

One more mid-term Part 2 to go this weekend and I hope I'm able to meet that day. But those revisions could only be done @ home, on which I'd end up sleeping on the bed and read halfway.

But I'm feeling so syukur, that I succeeded in completing all the 6 days of fasting I missed during Ramadhan. I wanted to complete them before the lil one comes out. Yesterday was my last! Alhamdulillaah.

At the moment, I really drag waking up because I can't sleep peacefully these days. I would always wake up in the wee hours to change sides. Poor hubb would always be awakened by his 'oh-super-extra-load' wife. So sorry hubb!

I thank you some of you who smsed me and asked about my condition and progress. Alhamdulillah I am doing okay so far. The fact that I am not going to take any leave even a few days before means that I just have to persevere although obviously it doesn't get any easier and I admit I am getting lazier to go to work, because I really have to practise 'Fasbrun Jamil' (patience). The kids really play with your emotions and I really pity my lil one having to endure that part. But luckily I am able to balance these emotions once I return home.

Lil one may just pop anytime now! Hehe... do pray for me my dear readers!

Brains and brawns

I spent yesterday night and most of today to complete my 2nd review article. I was torn in the beginning between two but decided to just choose one which is, not that I would say easier, but more to the safer side. The muscles in my brain have sure worked hard almost to the extent of cracking it. I'm not that confident of this piece I've analysed because along the way, the burning sensations of the upper part of my stomach hinders the flow of ideas and thoughts.

This is the best I could do because I have other obligations to complete before I take a break. My brain is just tired of thinking critically as my body is already tired with the weight I'm carrying. But, all this is of course, a sweet experience. I'm trying to organise things before the time comes and I still have another 2 mid-terms to revise this coming week and the next. However, it is unpredictable nowadays that the pain comes and go, and I am feeling more tired these days. To settle it all at work, since January, I've been staying in school till the pakcik switches off the staffroom's light as a signal for us to get out, heh

As the time comes nearer, I am really counting the days. But before all this starts, I just need to carry out some responsibilities given to me at work and make it a reality. Then will only there be a sign of relief.

Anticipation

Initially, I felt nothing. When people around me asked, how I was feeling, I did not know what to answer. There wasn't much excitement because I think I would prefer to go with the flow and be more composed. It's only recent, or to be exact, these few days that I felt the anticipation and look forward to the day. Maybe because of my surroundings and some people around me sharing their stories that made me like this.

I look forward to it.. yeap... especially when hubb showed me that video of the wonderful creation...

The new member on Planet Earth

After a short weekend date with hubb, we visited a dear girlfriend, whom, after a long waited journey and anticipation, welcomed her new family member yesterday. He has beautiful long eyelashes too, and weighed 3.7kg. Engrossed in her labour story, I forgot to take a shot of the lil angel, but surely the ibu will be updating him in her entry.

To Yati, your prayers of having him in your arms by this week has been fulfilled. Syukur Alhamdulillaah. Hopefully you'll be home soon and have a speedy recovery. Have a good experience of parenting Yati n Rizal!

Kita hanya merancang, tetapi Allah menentukan... That's what I've learnt from her story...

A late new year entry...

The new working year leaves me with a new routine due to the new session we are having this year. It's my 2nd experience being a floater and this, I share with other colleagues of mine although I have to be more aware of the different levels we are assigned to. I remembered that stint I had last year with the sup regarding certain things I felt along the way. Hindrances that pulled me back from being proactive and personality traits of some of them around me that I tried to shun, thus resulting me not able to put plans into practice. I was glad it turned out well because that talk I had between her and me left a deep impression. Since then, I have been able to discuss the important things left earlier, all for the sake of them and able to give voice to one's opinions or sharings with confidence, alhamdulillah.

I am more hyped on this year's organisation of things I plan to keep them in place and with istiqamah. But then come the time when I'll be on hiatus physically for 4 months and having to continue them virtually, I hope I succeed. I have one month plus left insyaAllah before I handover this task to another person and invite another new role to myself. My 2nd phase...

What's most important is the fact that I still have those around me who are still supportive (my family members), my bestfriends and other close ones. I can say that it's a good year to start and anticipating for better things ahead insyaAllah...