A good 'Eid. A good year.

This year’s December end is definitely a good New Year start as we celebrate our ‘Eid Adha before the Masihi new year. Yes, it is also a way to reflect upon our past deeds especially if we try to focus on the sacrifices we made the whole year of 2006. What have we done? Was it enough? Did the things we do make us better people? Events like this don’t come often. As much as we can, we appreciate it and fill it like there’s no tomorrow.

Everyone has a place to reflect upon their lives. It is not necessary to look back only during the last day of the year but as Muslims, we try to reflect each day before sleep. It differs from those who keep on living their days without wanting to make any effort of changing bad habits and attitudes. Congrats too, to my fellow peers who made their way to another phase of life as wives and some, as husbands. The coming year, the number is increasing.

A benchmark for me was my trip to Kota Kinabalu with fellow colleagues. Leading simple lives, I salute their inner and outer strength. While we are living like mad cows in a mad rush society, we learnt new things along the way, especially patience. While doing some house chores yesterday, I realised the fast pace in doing things when at that moment, I didn’t need such a quicky task. We work like robots that even doing leisure, we want things to be fast as we have been trained in such ways. When I decreased the rate I was working on, I appreciated more and enjoyed it. Sometimes, quality gets out of hand when quantity is much needed. Where’s the balance? We are imperfect after all. Good enough we have insufficient natural resources, and here we are destroying ‘em.

Being in KK, again, gave me the opportunity to grab the beauty of the Divine. A more relaxed society and thumbs up weather due to all our activities being outdoors. Away from homeland, we breathed in clean air. It was nice, that this ni’mah of no-rain weather accompanied us during our 3D2N stay despite the continous downpour back at home.

School term is starting soon in 3 days time. This last one week has been endless meetings stretched like office hours. With the upcoming needs and vision aligned for the coming year, my energy is surely to be pumped. It seems that I need to work smarter this time round as the services I am rendering might be to wits end. And it seemed that discovery of certain traits of me from colleagues have put me to places where I think, expectations might be high. Time to be back to the REAL world! Current tasks for the new year:
* Department: Back in MT department
* Service: Videographer/Photographer of sch
* Partners: Sch website
* CCA : Sc & Technology Club

Let us pray to a blessful year ahead! (I’m sure some individuals close to me look forward to the exciting year! *grins* ) Be the best that we can be and always hope that our aspirations and efforts will materialise in 2007!

Shahru Mubaarak!

x x x

Some of KK pix uploaded in multiply.
Some will be uploaded to blog, soon.

Books enlighten me!

One of her favourite past times, reading books. This girl here loves to read books. However, not considered loyal to one. More of a book hopper. But it depends too. If hooked to one, then loyalty comes first until the end chapter.

So currently, surrounded by a few books. It was aeons since the last time she stepped to a library. So, first time to the new NLB was great that it made her sick, perhaps due to the on-off weather the whole day as well.

It was a book galore. Must make it a point to resume her routine of visiting NLB like she used to those days. Lots of digging to do with the nice ambience as long as her jacket tags along!

Borrowed two books. One is a local handbook by Cheong Yuen Lin, 'Sustaining the Passion to Teach'. Another is A Cup of Comfort for Teachers. But what I need now is a cup of hot tea! The voice is sending signals of getting sick by tonight. The fact is, she sound like a toad now.

With four books to finish, with the additional Indian Summer, count herself lucky that the activity doesn't require voice, hehe!

Better heal it fast before departure in a few days. Wouldn'tbe enjoyable with bugs following you around!

Let's start the Readathon now...

p.s: Thanks sis, for the Jodi Picoult books...

x x x

Feeling much better, hopefully.

Thinking positive. Thinking ahead.

Melancholic night...

The path that have been taken in the past
Taught me a lot about
Friendship, leaders and family
Values I gained on
commitment, hardships or determination

Once again, I see
Faces that in a way or another
Moulded me to who I am today
Faces whom I've shared joy
And perhaps, for some, tears as well
Continuing in a higher level for the rest

I envied them, they've went that far
My pure admiration salutes up high
While me, where do I stand?
Did I ever deserve the load I once had?
Even feeling much further than them

This weakness is it here to stay?
Will great ideas be silence than say?
This moment, feeling such a dismay
Daunting hard, for bravery I pray

I don't wish for an ocean of silence
I wish to be a better person
Not for self, but for friends and society as well
Where should I heed?
Is there enough strength for me to lead?
From here, will I ever proceed?

The melancholy truth, facing the music
I know I have to proceed for a sweeter return
Not for monetary rewards but self satisfaction
More of practising the things I've learnt
Along the way from the education life to the educating line

Thank you friends, we met again tonight
The special faces whom I will always remember
Still united, for one another

This moment, this night I reflected
This entrance I took that one fine day
Which led me to many doors of chances
To find my worth hidden within
To feel those, unforgettable experiences

For the continuity to me,
Doesn't lie only within the internals
But how it continues touching my heart
To continue even when
I've exited that door...

Night Reflection

Ternyata hari-hariku tidak sia-sia
Cuba untuk mengisi tiap langkah, tiap ketika penuh makna
Agar dapat ku untai semuanya menjadi saat-saat indah
Menjadi kenangan yang menemaniku ketika kesunyian

Moga jadi insan yang lebih tegar
Walaupun terangnya tidak kekal di langit biru
Mendung dan hujan pasti membasahi keringat
Asyik memandang ke hadapan tidak kira waktu

Mungkin kali ini harus lebih berani
Mencari peluang di ruang-ruang terbuka
Langkahku usah terlalu goncang ingin tumbang
Demi mencapai kejayaan lalu mengucap kesyukuran

Di ruang sepi terkadang termangu
Apakah sebenarnya disimpan untukku?
Apakah mampu semakin kuat menunggu
Ini jalan yang ku pilih, ku yakin padaMu
Lumrah insani tetap terfikir

Khabar gembiramu wahai taulan
Do'aku tulus untuk kalian
Bahteraku masih di tengah lautan
Usahaku sudah, berkayuh di tepian
Singgahnya entah, padaMu ku serahkan

* * *

Will I be able to build more pillars of patience?

"Knowledge is a life-long journey"

Lovers of knowledge enters an open door that leads them to greater opportunities.
Once the doors are knocked, choices are, they remain ignorant or take a step ahead
to unlock the doors for better life chances.

Observations and coffee talks were thought provoking in the sense that there are some who continued the learning journey albeit the age of supposedly called "employees" instead of "students". Don't get me wrong. The ones I am referring to are those who seemed to circulate themselves in the education line as means to avoid entering the new phase of life, the work force.

I wonder, is it because of the larger constrains that we'll face in the field of labour that stagnate us on the lower pyramid (like opis politics)? Is it because of our social awareness and perhaps the rest of S.E.L (social-emotional learning) values taken away in the future?Is it because we are unprepared of the advantages we might lose along the way?

Again, my reflection. Isn't the formal education we gained as a track to be more responsible? To be able to apply in reality? So that we can survive the paradigm shift that shock us?

To each his own. Attachments and practices are currently the trend to equip the current youths in the labour force. Some, an eye-opener (as happened to me). Learn to leave the box of comfort and expect sharp torns poking holes to your box. It gives you shelter but shed light as well, isn't it?

Till my next reflection...

Let's learn to be brave. Do not haste. = )

Let's get energised!

Already the 2nd week of holidays but normally it's time for us the gahmen
serbens to either:

Choice 1: Finish any undone business with your high-ups or the school
Choice 2: OR even do some spring cleaning (throw unwanted papers, dust, insect faeces, etc)

My choice? Well, too bad. No choices at all. In fact, choice 1 is a mixture of many undone business we had to complete. Choice 2's news will be updated once the new year starts!

Oh, but we had some fun too. Sporty fun last week. A sports carnival for all gahmen serbens. To keep up with our stamina, lose some weight (perhaps?) or plainly to join fun to avoid gaining weight at home due to the super-duper-hectic weeks before. The best thing, it was held near the mosque for spiritual enlightenment before the game started. And it ended not with sweat, but simply the pouring rain and a pool of mud (unluckily, at our lane) . Woohoo...

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Kenyataan

Untuk mengecapi kejayaan dan kecemerlangan, aku harus menghadapi kegagalan. Manusia tidak mampu menampung kegagalan jika bentengnya lemah. Ada yang mungkin kurang siuman andai benteng Eeman itu tiada. Bersyukur kerana benteng itu masih menjadi pacak walaupun kegagalan sudah dapat dirasai. Keputusan memang belum pasti tetapi penilaian menyedarkan insan tentang kegagalan yang diterima.

Satu kegagalan diharap akan terkubur dengan kejayaan yang lain.Aku masih ingin bangkit.

Moga Allah membantuku.

A small step makes a difference

"You don't have to change that much for it to make a great deal of difference. A few simple disciplines can have a major impact on how your life works out in the next 90 days, let alone in the next 12 months or the next 3 years."--Jim Rohn

It makes a good impact on you when the trust and amanah given to groom them into better human beings, some with big potentials yet to be unleashed, becomes a success. Some friends may wander the reason people like us love to talk about this field anywhere we are. However, it is only those, in the circular or the ones who seek to understand, shall witness the rewards, definitely non-material.

I believe, my responsibility to bridge good rapport breeds success. What I witness, and the bearing of healthy fruits this time round makes me smile. I'm not saying that my forte is with these soon-to-be youths. I'm experiencing three different age groups. Because I feel that I can convey any motivational advices better to the higher level, than the younger ones. At least, they are considered the good bunch and beginning to learn the facets of life.

I have always told them, improvements may not necessarily be drastic, as individuals possess different levels of learning abilities. To me, a minor improvement is still, a success. Don't brag, but be grateful. I am very happy this time round as each and everyone of this particular batch entrusted to me improved. In fact, they boosted their grades. They have made me proud, really. Alhamdulillah.

It's this ni'mah that made me persevere in this field, I think. And other intangibles that surprises me along the way. Maybe this is what they say 'Tak kenal maka tak cinta' (You won't love something if you don't learn to know it)

Congrats to all my pupils who have made this happen. Strive, go on and never give up.
I guess, that goes the same with me. Their trials are over. My struggles in educating myself, has just begun.

Burning midnight oil for 5 days straight...
Hoping to feel the fighting spirit again...

The time has come...

The much waited dates are here...

11 Nov - RKGS 1999 (Research Methodology)
12 Nov - RKQS 2010 (Science of Qu'ran)
18 Nov - RKQS 2020 (Science of Hadith)
19 Nov - PSCI 1010 (Political Science)

Saturday papers in the afternoon. Sunday ones in the morning.
I am most comfortable with only one of the modules. As it's one of my favourites. The rest, are quite challenging to me. But, what's life without challenges, aye?

Have not collected the assignment on Pol. Sci. Wonder how the remarks & grades are. Heh, I'm sure risking it doing alone.

May Allah help this pioneer batch of ours. Bit Taufeeq Wannajaah. As well as my dear friends who are in the Unis mugging for exams too.

Syawal reunion

I reflected back on Ramadhan and told myself, it's not that bad after all. Of anything that happened in the blessed month, there were new experiences never achieved before, and the start of new chapters that I never obtained in previous years.

It's the 7th day of Syawal and visitings, for most, are still at the peak. As per usual, the salam routine at nenek's house, from the eldest to the youngest generation.

With all the ala pa.pa.razzi hype and pose, and the forgiveness we seek from family members.

This special time, the chance once again to rekindle bonds with cousins and relatives in Johor after a long hiatus. Abah can now relax as I chauffeured my parents from Singapore to Johor for the 'eid visits there.

For a while, I indulged in reminiscence. How time flies, and how my hiatus caused myself to be a little shocked at the changes that have happened. Basically, the changes happened both ways; to them and to us. And I gladly welcome a new baby-born into the cousins' list...

Enjoyable time with the kids, and the ayams as well. Oh, how I miss the kampung food, especially lauk kicap ayam (Chicken with black sauce). The driving there and here, for obvious reasons differ; their ways and the system and the never-ending E.r.a station with the raya message of 'Rancanglah perjalanan anda' and other drivin' adverts tickled me along the way. And of course, I wouldn't forget the final visit before heading back to homeland when the super heavy rain, caused this to happen.

And this Miss, wouldn't miss it! (pun not intended)

To all, whom I've not seek forgiveness, please forgive me from the bottom of my heart
to all my distant relatives, friends & acquaintances.

'Eid Mubaarak!

x x x

Buff, I'll upload the rest of the pix in multiply.
And yes, the show was a success. Thanks for you support system.
I'll upload the DK pix as well in multi.

It's ending... let's hope it's not the end...

Alhamdulillah. I hope most of my Muslim friends are able to spend their last days of Ramadhan fruitfully. I wouldn't say that I did that well for my last 10 days. However, to those who knew, thanks for the du'a. I am still on my road to recovery, still finding the signboard ;p

So for the closure of Ramadhan soon, I'd like to share a write up I did on caliphate or known as khilafah. I watched the tarawih prayers in Makkah last 2 days and was stirred by that aura. I realised, I miss the peacefulness and the tranquility I once had. Oh, and the ice cream too, ha..ha. So I remembered the sahabahs who faced challenges during their leadership.

A critical assessment on the successions in Khulafa’ Rasyidin and their legitimacy in the eyes of the Muslims

. April 2006 .

Khilafah was a natural outcome of the elementary concept of the unity of life, relating to Tauhid which does not allow a separation between religion and state, as it strives to attain a unity between belief and practice, between individual ethics and social ethics, between religion and life. The basic features of the caliphate were based on the Syura system by the Majlis Syura, bai’ah of the Muslim public and to follow the Qur’an and Sunnah. All the first three caliphs received bai’ah by the Syura members as well as the Muslim community although Hadrat Umar was nominated by Hadrat Abu Bakr before his death.

During Hadrat Abu Bakr’s succession, the only question upon his appointment was by Hadrat Ali. As-Siddiq then explained his presence in Saqifah Banu Sa’idah about the dispute between the Ansars and Muhajirin. He accepted the position due to the difficult situation as the people also took their oath of allegiance and showed complete unanimity in the matter. For Hadrat ‘Ali, Sayyidatina `A’isha consented the khilafah later on due her opposition on it because of the delay in taking avenge from the assassinators of Hadrat Uthman’s death.

Out of the four caliphs, the first half can be called the religious and spiritual rule of Islam where faith dominates materialism. In fact, the Muslims were united due to the just administration carried out by the caliphs. Hadrat Omar’s period was the “Golden Age” of Islamic history when Islam was practiced at its true form with good initiatives based on the Qur’an and Sunnah. The unity of the Muslims started to deteriorate in the second half of the Rightly-Guided Caliphate. People who wanted to create chaos among the Muslims took advantage on Hadrat ‘Uthman’s soft nature, unlike Hadrat Omar’s stern hand that kept away unwanted practices during his reign. Abdullah bin Saba’ who initiated the internal clashes within the Muslim community resulted in four divisions. As for the legitimacy of Hadrat ‘Uthman’s period, the Shiites thought that he was not fit for Khilafah.

According to Sunni historians, the assassins were amongst this group. As mentioned earlier, the assassination of Hadrat ‘Othman has divided the Muslims into four main groups. These groups had different beliefs towards the succession of the fourth caliphate. For the 'Uthmanis, they totally rejected Hadrat ‘Ali’s designation as caliph because of the failure to settle the assassins of Hadrat ‘Uthman. So, after the judgement of the arbitrators, they pledged their allegiance to Amir Mu’awiyah. The Shiites, in the beginning just declared themselves as Hadrat ‘Ali’s friends during the third caliphate. However, they later developed a belief that only Hadrat ‘Ali was the only fit person for the position and discarded the authority of Amir Mu’awiyah and the first three caliphs. Only that during the first two caliphate, they did not criticise openly. The Khawarij only accepted Hadrat Abu Bakr and ‘Umar and denounced the rest. Ahli Sunnah wal-Jam’aah were in favour of all four caliphs as these caliphs set examples according to the Qur’an and Sunnah and as discussed earlier, the basic features of caliphate was to be guided by these two sources.

The qualities of second half of the Rightly-Guided Caliphate appeared to be gradually receding thus ended the Righteous caliphate as the Muslim community became divided and creating their own agendas, most for their own benefits. After the prophet’s time, it was God’s will that the same legacy is carried on by deserving persons, who could take up the khilafah to continue the tradition started by the prophet. Ultimately, the four of them were the closest companions to the Prophet and they were eager to follow in his footsteps. None of them assumed the pretensions of the latter day “kings” and “sultans” of a decadent age.

x x x

Will I meet you again?
I'll be missing you for a year...
Patiently waiting for you once more...

Have a well-spent last day of Ramadhan, everyone...

The tests of the last phases...

The hazy atmosphere..
P.S.I changes I need to adhere..

PSLE exams marking four straight days...
Non-stop of my right hand that sways...

Sum up to a single effect...
One which the pro has detect...

So One MC to let it be
Dear mind, body and soul; be free

X X X

So, should I go for the minor op?
Pretty bad it is. 80% of the flesh swollen.
Oh yes, it has affected me a lifetime.
Perhaps, after 'eid, I'll think about this.
After much reading, it's labelled under chronic.

Oh Allah, to you I seek cure from illness...
That everything be okay...
In this last phases of Your special month...

Ramadhan Gempaq! [15 Ramadhan 1527]

Detik itu pantas berlalu.
Setiap nafas bererti buatmu.
Jika kau bijak menggunakan waktu.
Melawan nafsu amarah yang melulu.

Cabaran itu.
Titik noktah belum ku temu.
Langkah terus biar maju.
Tawakkal terus pada yang Satu.

Nisfu Ramadhan tidak menunggu.
Hargailah terus usah terpaku.

The narrow routes of life

The Parable of the Pencil
Source : Qisas.com

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box. There are 5 things you need to know, he told the pencil, before I send you out into the world.

Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be.

ONE: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone’s hand.

TWO: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you’ll need it to become a better pencil.

THREE: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

FOUR: The most important part of you will always be what’s inside.

FIVE: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark.

No matter what the condition, you must continue to write. The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.

Now replacing the place of the pencil with you; always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.

ONE: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you place your Trust in Allah.
[Yes, and I surely will put my trust on Him rather than the trust on the people whom lack trust in me]

TWO: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems, but you’ll need it to become a stronger person.
[I have to be strong. I got several sharpernings. But I can still endure and move on. ]

THREE: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.
[ It is surely a learning process... ]

FOUR: The most important part of you will always be what’s on the inside.

FIVE: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark.
[ I am gonna leave a very memorable mark on this, I believe ]

No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties. By
understanding and remembering, let us proceed with our life on this
earth having a meaningful purpose in our heart.

* * *
Duties. Duties come with responsibility. Responsibilty is an amanah bestowed to you. Am so disturbed with things happening around. When we were small, how easy it was to forgive and forget. Remembering an incident today...

Cikgu, Petom, Melor dengan Kemboja taknak kawan saya, Lily, Hibiscus dengan Orkid.

After awhile, less than a minute, they were in talking terms. No grudge against each other. Happily doing the essay assigned to them.

As we grow older, we are tied down by all these sensitive issues. An act considered zilch would suddenly be a big hoo-haa. One of the sasterawan I knew ever wrote a poem on the changing chronicles of humans' personalities. What we do might not be sincere anymore. A laughter may just be a mask worn to satisfy the needs of others.

Sometimes, I just don't understand, why minor things turn out big. Easy things, turn out difficult. People complain more, but they do little. Sincerely, I'm not at my comfort zone. My senses are telling me to get away from the undesirable phases of life.

My phase of growing up. I miss my school years now. Where you can do stuffs voluntarily without getting depressed on pr0.t0.c0ls. A minor step of help is even a big issue. In the first place, the amanah was on me alone. Giving me something you think I could do alone. I don't want to lie to myself and be idealistic. If I were to ask those who loves to complain to help, duh, unfinished task for sure. I am very happy with where I am at now with those who help me currently. Those whom I really regard as friends.

My role model, our dear Prophet Muhammad. Never failed to make me reflect and pick up these broken pieces and go on. Knowing what I have in my heart. To just go through the obstacles, come what may.

So this is my life. My duty. This amanah, I wouldn't burden to another person. How can the thought of me wanting to junk the bulk to the other person be a thought in the first place? This thing might just be a minor item. But I am doing the best for the umbrella above me. Great it is, compliments you get.

But as the end note of the beautiful story above, let us proceed with our life on this earth having a meaningful purpose in our heart.

They may not understand. But Allah does. That is sufficient.
Another Ramadhan test, I guess.

Ya Qalb...

Hati...

Terkadang riang

Terkadang hiba

Terkadang lesu

Terkadang lemah

Kalbu...

Kekalutan yang sendiri ku tanya

Kebahagiaan bak bintang bercahaya

Adakalanya bersinar

Tanpa bicara bermuram durja

Sukma...

Tiada titik noktah rasa gejolak

Kusutku biarlah terlerai

Bukti halusnya jiwa yang longlai

Ramadhan...

Sinarilah hati, kalbu dan sukma

Untuk ku kenal erti permata

Terangilah diri yang kerdil di mataNya

Agar tenang, kuat dan tabah

Ramadhan...

Kuatkan hati ini menempuh mehnahMu

Adakah ku mampu, sendiri tiada tahu

Lagu dah irama malamku sungguh syahdu

Hanya Kau, jelas dengan apa ku mahu

Bertautlah kebenaran di hatiku

Hanya pada pancaran warna

Dendangkan rinduku pada yang Satu

Iringi ku yang hilang menuju jalanMu

* * *

Kadangkala diri ini benci pada hati

Yang kadang tenang kadang berombak

Mengapa mudah dipukul ombak

Hanya kerananya?

Ketahanan tidak perlu rapuh

Sedangkan besi kian karat

Apatah hati selembut ini

Dibiar hanyut kian larat

Sahutku, teriakku, pohonku

Tunjukkanlah...

Here we go for the special month!

GET READY!
Dragons' team had a recharging session after a long break. Although there was minute attendance, it was still a good refresher session for us. The descending wall differed from the previous one because of the shelters albeit it being just a 3-storey floor. I did some hillarious 360 degree stunt while dragging myself down. Lucky this time round, no video-taking! In the first place, I thought it was easier than the 5-storey building I had back in Aljunied. But I had difficulty climbing over. Maybe due to the slanting shelter.

Then, prussick just to remember the coordination. Soon after it ended, showers of blessings from the rain. Hopefully, I will be able to do a good job for the sharing session before the actual event on the 30th. So what's HOT coming this fasting month?

Come this fasting month, Saff Perdaus is organising the event above to coincide with the Ramadhan Youth Challenge 2006. Highlights include sports climbing and abseiling . So...

Are you between 13 and 22 years of age?
Brave enough to take up a challenge?
If so... Take up our challenge!!
More info here

And me, I gotta prepare myself before I belay them on the 30th,

The family gathering

Family members are the best when it comes to birthdays. A weekend well spent which united us. A time almost lost as the growing up years continue and precious memories still vivid in our minds and hearts. Most of yours truly's maternal cousins' birthdays are in the pix above; one new cousin in-law's birthday too - Kak Lia. Welcome to the family :) In fact, our birthdays are just a few days away from each other.

Oh well, yours truly's paternal side too has a birthday which falls on the same day as mine. Happy b'lated birthday, kak Erlis. In fact, both paternal and maternal side has a cousin each sharing the same birthdate as me. Weehoo =)

Thank you all - for the food&drinks, the venue and of course, the comfort. <3

Self Development

People have different ways of interpretating success. To each is his own. To achieve any success is a moment appreciated. Success is not measured in its length, but to be done progressively with consistence and determination.

Sir Winston Churchill once said,

'Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.'

Success, which I almost lost if it hadn't be for the motivation by abah to continue after failing twice. I remembered back then, an online conversation when I discussed with a sahabat about failure breeds success. This, is one of the simplest examples. Alhamdulillah, I have received my plate of orange and yellow pie stuck with me for a year. One of the goals which I have been waiting and now, the gain. My best advanced birthday gift so far.

Truvy (Dolly Parton) in "Steel Magnolias" ,

Smile, it enhances your face value.

So smile, when the video's on you. The knowledge for the intensive video production workshop held at Substation & MOE was undescribable. It seemed impossible to create a storyboard and direct a short film, but the experience was a roller coaster ride. Not only does yours truly learnt to video edit in depth, but produce and direct films. Hoping to utilise this knowledge in the education line which was the initial reason as well as for outreach purposes, insyaaAllah. Thanx Li.oneL C.h.ok for the intensive and productive but super tiring 2-days ride.

Ralph Parlette quoted,

Real birthdays are not annual affairs. Real birthdays are the days when we have a new birth.

How true. A new birth, a new step towards betterment in life. To be under the umbrella of His blessings and approaching the gates of life's ending. Thank you to the people I love, my best buddies, my good friends and virtual ones for your well-wishes and du'a. A special touch for it's the day of Nisfu Sha'ban as well... :)

A Chinese proverb states,

The journey is the reward.

Excruciating it may seem, but the journey as an undergrad at the same time enlightens the pain when satisfaction is achieved. If you really work smart and try your best, insyaAllah good returns will come. You can't turn back the time when you took campus life for granted. Doubling roles and taking a longer journey can make you stronger or even wiser. Alas, last sem's results: 3 A- and 1 B (G.P.A : 3.5) Much tougher for the following sem, I can only try to do the best I could. I might not do better than last sem but I believe, all these are phases of life to test your beliefs, your Eeman and your strength on the journey of the truth.

And this path of self development will never end. That's the beauty of life.

In the path of our happiness shall we find the learning for which we have chosen this lifetime.~ Richard Bach (Illusions)

And I am learning, for the future garden that awaits the entrance of carers to bloom it well. Thank you Allah for this ni'mah. Aameen.

* Gems of Knowledge *

Be It Yourself Day - ACES Day - Teachers' Day
My role : Videographer / Photographer
Dolling up as : Martial Artist

Then said a teacher, "Speak to us of Teaching."

And he said:
No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of our knowledge.

The teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple, among his followers, gives not of his wisdom but rather of his faith and his lovingness.

If he is indeed wise he does not bid you enter the house of wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind.

The astronomer may speak to you of his understanding of space, but he cannot give you his understanding.

The musician may sing to you of the rhythm which is in all space, but he cannot give you the ear which arrests the rhythm nor the voice that echoes it.

And he who is versed in the science of numbers can tell of the regions of weight and measure, but he cannot conduct you thither.

For the vision of one man lends not its wings to another man.

And even as each one of you stands alone in God's knowledge, so must each one of you be alone in his knowledge of God and in his understanding of the earth.

Selamat Hari Guru!

The prezzies are all left in the staffroom. Too heavy to bring home. Till school reopens!

(F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

F A M I L Y

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,

"Oh excuse me please" was my reply

He said, "Please excuse me too;

I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I.

We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,

How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,

My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.

"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.

I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,

God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger,

common courtesy you use,

but the family you love,

you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,

You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.

He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,

you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,

And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;

"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"

He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.

I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;

I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."

He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too,

and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

FAMILY

Are you aware that if we died tomorrow,

the company

that we are working for could easily replace us in

a matter of days.

But the family we left behind will feel the loss

for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more

into work than into our own family,

an unwise investment indeed,don't you think?

So what is behind the story?

* * *

A few days ago, one member of a dear family friend, the mum, passed away in Down Under. I've always had these jitters everytime when the phone rings during weird hours. It was Subuh time around 6+ in the morning. Mum was obviously shocked hearing the news as the latter is one of her very close friends.

I am close to the first two of her sons during my childhood years, but keeps in touch longer with the second one out of the 5 children she had. Now, without the care of parents, the eldest son which is my age carries a huge responsibility. The dad has passed away, a few years ago.

Now, if I were to travel there, I won't be fulfilling my objective to meet the mum anymore. I guess, it's not my rezqi to be able to be there when my parents had the chance to spend their time in Melbourne without me.

I have been reflecting, what would I do, if this happens to me. For a son who has younger siblings to take care of, the bond may be stronger. As for me who would be left alone, it is just unimaginable.

So this poem forwarded by a dear colleague triggered me to write about the fateful incident. But the mum passed away in her sleep. May Allah bless the sons and only daughter who are still young but strong beings of the ever challenging life. I can already see the maturity in them albeit the hardships they went through all this while. And reminiscing on my childhood days with them, I surely miss them all very much :o/

Chill, Its Sunday!

It's a nice day. Had good pol.Science lecture early morning. Today I shall relax the whole afternoon to pamper myself and rest. Let's chill awhile and look at the fun quizzes I took today.. Shalalalala....

*Quiz No. 1 *

How to make a Nur Khairiah

Ingredients: 3 parts competetiveness 3 parts humour 3 parts ego

Method: Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Top it off with a sprinkle of caring and enjoy!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

*Quiz no. 2*

Are You A Solo Blogger Or A Network Blogger? : A Blogging Analysis Quiz

RESULTS ANALYSIS
You're a trailblazing blogger! You can definitely blog solo. But, with your background and financial capital, you might even want to consider starting your own blogging network.

*Quiz no. 3*

If I Were a Blog Component,
I would be the MAIN BODY ENTRY.
I love living life - and blogging - to the fullest!

*Quiz no. 4*

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

*Quiz no. 4*

Your Dominant Thinking Style:

Visioning You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights. You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details. An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path. You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

Your Secondary Thinking Style:

Experimenting You're all about looking at the facts, and you could always use more of them. You see life as your lab - and you're always trying out new things, people, and ideas. The master of mix and match, you're always coming up with unique combinations. You are good at getting a group to reach consensus.

What's Your Thinking Style?

That's all folks. Have a break, have a nap!

H.a.d.z~

I thought I wouldn't want to blog about it. Yet, after reading Miss Púrpura's entry, had the itch to write about it. Sharing the same sentiments as her, last few night's performance was a blast. Basically, I have been watching since the top 12 and he wasn't that prominent although I know he has one of the good vocals but today, his performance totally blew me off! Haha, maybe the tinglings she mentioned were the same kind of tingle bug I had...

Apparently, I am much sensitive to Malay songs. I'm a jiwang-jiwang punya oranglah... So my ears were more sensitive when I was listening to his diction and tones... In addition, a jazz is not easy... Sheila's songs are made specially for her voice quality. And dia dapat bawa lagunya dengan teramatlah emosi. Most prolly of one's own m.o.t.h.e.r tongue language. Miss Púrpura's 60 cents... WiDz's 60 cents x 6 for 2 days... haha. I guess, it's a stress therapy for me. Felt good doing that... And glad its all worthwhile to see him coming back once again. Smitten? Oh yeah I am, sesungguhnya. With the looks which are in the listed looks of my kind (the c.h.i.n.e.s.e looking essence) , he surely rock the stage! Not forgetting the maintain cool. Only tensed during the results. All the best Hadz!!!~

I've been a tad of big eater lately... It's nearly entering the 2nd month of such habit. Been eating big portions of food be it a course meal, or just a simple meal. Well, it's so unlike me. Is there something wrong with me? Existence of subconscious stress perhaps? Is there such a thing? And it's been two days of stomach problem. The machine in the stomach is losing its function, heh. I think I am having diarrheoa? I'll see how it is tomorrow...

I totally forgot to check out my book review interview on RSI (R-a-d-i-o S'-p-o-r-e I'-t-e-r-n-a-t-i-o-n-a-l) podcast yesterday. I have to wait for its repeat telecast tomorrow afternoon and listen to my not-so-well-done review (i think) because I wasn't that well prepared since I am currently into working commitments too much to settle.

So, my dear friends, if you have any good books you've read (Malay or English), you can simply inform me by tag/ sms / msn okay?

x x x

I wish for a winter sonata story of my own...

Super Duper Beach Affair!!!

Fun, faith and friends last weekend @ ECP!

With the end of the inter-madrasah sports event, (which I admit I didn’t train the girls much due to work and study commitments) it didn’t mark the end of the bond between the super juniors/seniors and us, the super seniors.

Why should I be happy? 10 facts I love about it…

1. An overwhelming response from the pax we invited as a bonding session with them.
2. Yummy food which made us constantly sat at the food/drinks section to eat fried rice, munch satays, dig in chickens and orange syrup!

3. The hippest beach volleyball game where us, the oh so unfortunate super seniors had to become baits for them. As human nets!
4. Nearby restrooms to cleanse and purify ourselves.

5. Played soccer! We’ve always loved soccer since our yesteryears…

6. Advanced birthday liquid bash for our August girl, ‘A.z.m.a! (Sorry girl, we wet your clothes!)

7. My team won both rounds of bowling! (Heh, although I played quite bad for both games, failing to meet my normal scores for the usual first 2 rounds which I always do as warm up). Losing team bought us ice cream! Yummie!
8. There are vehicles to bring us home albeit ‘y’ having to return to uni that same night.

9. The company of my fellow pre-u2000 clan. Their stories, their antics, all!
10. Because I definitely love my pre-u2000 girls!

It’s this particular event and responsibility given to us that rekindled our friendship once more. I hope, our young girls will be able to appreciate this kind of friendship rarely found. Till we meet again for the next sports event in 2008, if given the chance. Many things can happen along the way. We might be or unable to train thre rest of the batch in the future. Heartfelt thanks to my sweeties who covered my role of a netball trainer. At least, we clinched medals after all. Kudos to the ones who won!

p.s. Sanah Helwa Ya 'A.z.m.a!!! May Allah bless your special twentyfour today with umbrella of blessings and may this friendship last till the last of our breath! Lurve you lots sizta!!! ;)

Apresiasi Bahasa dan Akoo

Memandangkan ku tidak mahu blog peraduan yang ku sertai dibiarkan berabuk, aku akan menggunakan lelaman itu sebagai wahana pandanganku tentang sastera, bahasa dan budaya kaum Melayu. Aku bercadang untuk meletakkan alamat lelaman itu sebagai sebahagian dari senarai jalin maya.

Mungkin juga aku akan meletakkan tugasan-tugasanku di sini sebagai perkongsian...

Alhamdulillah, lelaman 5 Jauhariku dapat dilestarikan. Akan kujadikan pengalaman ini sebagai medan perjuanganku hingga titisan darah terakhir (hehe). Moga-moga dengan usaha ini, anak didikku dapat mengembangkan potensi mereka dan memperbaiki mutu kerja dalam kehidupan seharian.

Penggal 3 akan berakhir tidak lama lagi. Aku harap prestasi kerjaku juga dapat meningkat, insyaAllah... Semoga Allah membantuku dalam mehnah yang tidak pernah mudah...

.. She prowls ..

Her day was not an eternal bliss. She didn't mind rushing on her own without involving others. Yet, she deters others who love to initiate things on their own without consulting her, when she did that hardwork albeit the mayhem she went through. That was particularly the reason she began to slow her pace due to under recognition of efforts. Hardwork doesn't pay off totally in life. Hopefully, in the Hereafter.

Her favourite class got their taste of medicine due to half-way efforts. All these while, they have been fed with sweets. Too much sweets, can rot your teeth. So, they are almost at the rotting stage. Prevention is better than cure. Had a short shock-bitter medicine before dismissal of class. They better buck up on their working attitude, else the tigeress might show her claws once again; which is seldom seen in this close rapport of gems she has.

Oh well, knowledge aren't for her gems alone. She has a long road for her path of knowledge. This long road includes the long, thick pages she has to read before her battle with the pen and papers starts tomorrow afternoon. The long, thick pages which to her, are excruciatingly painful in her brain. Hoping to be given the Nur and compassion by Him to help her understand easily. Please let the ink flow gently tomorrow. She needs it very very much. And she hopes that her friends who read this pray for her...

And she also prays for her cousin's well-being on her special day after her own brother's special day last few days...

Grow beautiful my child,
Either Ukhrawi,
Or Duniawi...

Listen to your parents my child,
You'll seek happiness,
It's all worthwhile...

Hopefully,
you'll be among the Qur'anic generation,
The young caliphs...

Nurfatin Syukrina...
I love you my dearest cousin...

When the orchid blooms...

A friend,

a sanctuary;

a smile;

a hand...

A new found friendship,

Out of the boundaries;

Of merely colleagues;

One you can rely on...

A bridge of ukhuwwah,

of two Muslim sisters;

Hope to stay strong;

In the tide of tough times...

A bouquet of love,
For the comfort at work;
For the strife of knowledge;
To make me feel the worth;
To have a flower;
for the laughter;
for the tear

A friend,
a feeling of the heart...

***
Thank you for making my working life fruitful. Thanks for making me a mugging buddy too.
It has make a difference since the first year I came in. I'm much more stable now... ;)

***

Mungkin yang terakhir kalinya

Monolog kepada saudara-saudaraku di T.i.m.u.r Tengah

Sudah lepaskanlah semua
Dendam yang meragut sukmamu
Janganlah kau cuba menghadiahkan
Kebinasaan dan gejolak yang mencengkam jiwa

Sudah lepaskanlah semua
Impian dulu yang sudah lusuh
Omong kosong yang dusta
Hanya impian kau fikir kan capai

Hari ini ku lihat kau di depanku
Hari esok tiada ketemu lagi
Hanya mereka yang berfikir
Yang ada hanya insan yang lemah
Tidak kira kulit, bangsa mahupun agama

Fikirkan ke mana arah kita
Ini bumi Tuhan, bumi Dia yang Esa...
Rintihanku.. hanya mampu melafaz
Tak terdaya melangkah...

Inilah hati yang tergerak sejenak membaca blog Zul tentang serangan yang melanda. Orang kata, 'picture speaks a thousand words?'. Hanya titik air mata yang terpaksa ditahan...

Red & White

A long holiday for a good cause and a shocking realisation. Reason being, there is an assignment to be completed for one of my modules. Consulted my lecturer on the two chosen topics and he replied to me to focus on the one entitled 'Orientalists criticism of Wahy and Muslims Responses'.

The shocking one is my mid-term exam for the one particular module I had difficulty understanding. D-Day, this Saturday. Due to the hectic yet learning working experience, I just realised when a coursemate smsed asking the pages of readings to be done. So I have 2 and a half days to catch up with my readings for mid-term and assignments as well as editing the test paper for my kids. Seems that I've found another study partner. Prolly mugging at my old study hangout, oh those moments.

School's NDP show today was great. In the sense that there was a flow in the skit they did. And it's always exciting to see them role-playing the characters stated in Sg's history. Later, managed to burn some fats (I hope so) during the captain's ball game we had versus our ex-students. But gained much more during a farewell lunch for a colleague. I actually ate a lot. I had a full course meal (fish 'n' chips, barley soup, coke) + free a single scoop ice cream + A full ice cream + free flow cold water.

And today's a good day for my closest cousin in town! Yeap, closest in age, exact in birthdate and best rapport during our yesteryears. Woohoo... Happy 23rd birthday Muhd Nur Azhari!

You may not have been updating your own blog. But I really hope you read this.
(Note, his sis/bro pls tell him, heh)
I really want you to excel in your career path right now in the aircraft line. May Allah make things easier for you in achieving your goals and aspirations. Ameen! Make us family proud especially your cuzz here, aite... ;)

x x x

Needing a longer time
To think it over
To istikharah
Again...

Going through a testing phase...

Semakin Sirna

Adakah masa ini mencemburui diriku? Saat aku terpaku mencari jalan yang kering menunggu hujan, mencari mentari, mencari sesuatu yang mampu membuatku melangkah terus ke hadapan dengan kepastian. Sedangkan waktu masih mencemburui diriku…

Pabila mentari menyinarkan kasihnya kepada makhluk Tuhan, pabila hujan menangis bersama mengiringi perjalanan insan… aku masih di sini mencari haluan yang sebenar untuk kuteruskan...

Terkadang aku terlupa dengan hati yang sebenar… umpama ombak membelah pantai tanpa menghiraukan mangsa. Kucuba hadir pada makrifah dan menolak segala gejolak di jiwa. Lantas kau, dia, mereka menjelma lalu meninggalkan kesan dengan calitan warna berirama mengusik kalbu...

Sinar... pancaranmu biarlah menembusi cahaya yang sirna. Aku butuh kepastian yang utuh. Aku ingin berdiri kembali, berpacak di kemuncak pasti. Tegarkan hatiku, agar keyakinan ini kembali terpateri...

Art Attack

Cover art is the illustration or photograph on the outside of a published product such as a book, magazine, video, audio album or brochure.

Where did the passion go?

Still within me with the blood it flows

Only known to the one who appreciates

The beauty which lies beneath ones who believe

There are many forms of art. It's the choice of the lover of art to express himself through the medium he/she likes. Cover art is one of the ways to indulge your creative ideas you have. Well, some might say that it is more to design. Although design and art are two different entities, there is a link between them, I believe. Yours truly is very proud and happy for the artistic values that run in the family albeit herself not being able to pursue a major in that field. Let that be a place for her cousin to squeeze all the benefits he gets from his course. It's a healthy jealousy. The consolation she gets currently is the slot she gets to teach art&craft with a superduper challenging youngsters.

Cover art used to be yours truly's favourite past time. More towards CD covers. How she wished a proposal be made to her, at least once in a lifetime. Saddened by the fact of the lost covers while rebooting her old pc, her current love is comics. Why the mention of this when she found a new love? Cousin got a proposal for a book cover from a known writer who's also a ML teacher... *pulls hair* If you get that as a free goodie, my dear cousin, shall I be the first to read it? Please, please???

Maybe yours truly should start producing quality literary works. Then design her own cover and keep it for her own collection. Who wants to sponsor an underdog, hmm? So, let the saga begin... if it's for real..

For the love of art she still feels...

x x x

Never liked green tea

But this green tea from lipton tastes good!

Maybe cos parents got it for free?

F.O.C stuffs always taste that good, I'm liking it!

Mug. mugging. mugged. [Yok bual pasar]

Masa berlalu pantas.. hmm.. rasanya baru hari tu aku memulakan Sem 2. Tuk, tuk je bulan Ogos nanti dah mula mid-year exam. Sekarang je dah nak akhir bulan Julai. Tugasan Uni aku kali ni lagi susah nampaknya...

« Kali ni Sains Hadith ngan Qur'an kena hafazan. Dua-dua jadi tugasan. Belum mula dengan Hadith, dah mula dengan Qur'an.

« Kuiz/Ujian Sains hadith minggu lalu, aduhai, cheem! Ada yang mudah, ada juga yang tricky. 'Ala kulli haal, aku tawakkal 'alallaah. Cuma dah lama tak berperasaan susah nak jawab semasa kuiz. Minggu tu pula, memang kerja aku macam sarang tebuan. Langsung tiada masa untuk ulangkaji sebab masa balik aku dipenuhi dengan tugasan kerjaaaaaaa. Aku cuma baca lepas Subuh pada hari kuiz yang hendak diambil. Lebihan lagi, muka surat yang perlu aku baca, banyak pulak tu... lagipun, maddah ni memang banyak terms yang perlu ingat. Walaupun dah pernah touch masa zaman sekolah dulu-dulu, yang ni lagi in depth ah... Aku tak konfiden dapat markah bagus untuk kuiz ni!

« Hal kaji-mengkaji ni pula... aduh... kaji tu untuk buat tugasan biasa tu memang boleh diatur. Tapi kalau dah ikut method-method ni seme... Hampeh! Cuma pensyarah dia ada skit kereta api lah. Walaupun dia nak kita discover processes sambil buat kajian, readings untuk faham definisi tu je aku dah pening. Baru selesai buat literature review.

« Adik sedara aku tu tengah struggle nak jadi future engineer. Hari tu, aku sempat bantu dia dengan projek Material Technology. Hidup biar susah dahulu, belajar mendaki dengan keringat sendiri, nanti satu hari akan ke puncak juga. Macam aku, belum sepenuhnya ke puncak yang aku sangat impikan. Maju terus, hingga berjaya, yea!

« Jam menandakan tarikh yang baru. Masa untuk membuat soalan peperiksaan akhir tahun. Buat kerja mesti ada air. Malam-malam gini aku suka buat air panas, macam waktu kat kampus dulu masa belajar. Tiap malam air panas. Sebab bilik aku sejuk. Aku memang minah teh tanpa milk. Sejak dari kecil lagi. Tak berubah-ubah, huhuh. Kopi ke Nescafe ke, bagi aku kurang tendang.

« Kawan-kawan aku yang tengah backpack tu, semoga selamat pulang ke tanah air, iye?
Salam rindu...

Feel challenged

Baru selesai melipat sejadahku. Bertafakkur sejenak memikirkan kehidupan seharian…

This week has been the most hectic in term 3. Where all activities either clash and participating them at the same time. Most of the time I had to reach work as early as 715am and log out by 7pm the latest as the lights and aircon would dim signalling your supposed departure back home. The rest I could only get without even touching a book to mark would be around 30mins the most. That also, to take time for personal touch with the Almighty. Well basically this happened since it is our MT week in lieu of the B.u.l.a.n. B.a.h.a.s.a. With Friday ending, it marks the end of the MT week. The reason of this rushing hour is because of the task me and my colleague were given as organisers of an activity for the higher primary. We called it ‘Kembara Minda’, a similar A.m.a.z.i.n.g Race game; at the vacinity of our school. Alhamdulillaah it was a success. Since this batch is the first trial, I hope my colleagues will be able to give constructive feedbacks (which I hope will be a good one) to further improve the game.

Well, during the initial stage, my h.e.a.d wanted us to do that by utilising the PDA, like the one in S.u.r.i.a ( Z.o.o.m Thailand). However, they said that it’s not feasible. Well… belum cuba belum tahu kan? However, not a sound reason to me. I’d like to check the functions of the tool one day if I’m given a chance. Perhaps, I could do something about it to fuse with my ML lessons.

I am unsure whether I’m in an alarming state. With the rat-race working environment, I barely touch my books. What worries me, the books kept piling. I even had to put aside the thought of cleaning my table until I manage to clear off the piles. At home, I have to prepare the activity for the next day. I confess that some exciting things I’ve planned for my pupils have not been done and had to postpone because of the level of priorities I had to do first.

Much worse, I have not been able to set aside time to do on IIUM’s research project. Proposal to be presented tomorrow and I have not even started reading my literature on the topic. And Sunday, I heard there’s a test. Starting to feel the pinch! Ouch!!!

There are just a lot of things going through my mind this particular week. My experienced colleagues agreed that this year, especially this term is the worse they ever had in the workplace. Next week is submission on the final year paper for vetting. I am starting to like my work. But what’s liking without challenges? The challenge has already been felt.

Tomorrow's a next challenge too. Out of home straight after Subuh and back home after Isya'. Oh do I need a break...

x x x

The strings of faith is trying to pull me down
I could feel the force of strings to make me lie low
I seek your help my Dear Creator
Not suppose to feel such way
Show me the light
Wisdom not to go astray

NE Show 2006

To those who knew, last Saturday was the NE Show @ N.a.t.i.o.n.a.l S.t.a.d.i.u.m. for the g.a.h.m.e.n schools. So, by default, I was supposed to put that willingness in me to join the crowd as I am one of the ML p5 tee-cheers. I was quite reluctant in the first place as I never bother to be excited in attending such big hoo-haa events. Not saying that I am not a law abiding c-t-zen. Just that, I didn't fancy crowds that much. Since the event would mark the closure of the stadium, I thought that being there as a first timer and the last was quite an interesting thought.

We started all the way from noon. I had to help sorting the goodie bags and circulate them. This time, it's a sling bag. I was assigned as a buddy to my colleague. We went there by a chartered S.B.S bus after a short talk by the headmaster.

Being in N.S reminded me of my Big Walk years with my pre-u2000 clan. The last time was back in my higher secondary years? *I think* It hasn't change of course. The only difference were the number of spectators and a different set. I found the sound detector quite cool. The crowd were divided into 2 and we had the kallang wave challenge. Then, the detector will rank the sound waves created.

But only one thing that made me flabbergasted; the fireworks. Be it indoors or outdoors, I would certainly wait for the fireworks. It left me in awe! Infact, I captured loads of videos on fireworks alone. Hehe, I finished up all my 3 memory cards.

That particular day left me many memorable moments...

- I met some of my ex-NIE-Townsvillian friends
- Made better rapport with the P5 pupils. Now they know my name...
- Discover more of my colleagues - their humour, their jokes
- Met my practicum colleague as well as my practicum students

To add to this, of course... we went off midnight time! Believe it or not! Lucky it was Sunday. When we return to school, the entrance was shining brightly and parents eagerly waiting for their children in school. To me, most importantly is the safety of the students. Alhamdulillaah, they went back safely. I am also very sure they enjoyed themselves after having to wait for 31/2 hours after the end of the show just to get out of that gigantic place. It was a fruitful wait for me because of some things that happen along the way...

Puh-pearls nad Tea-Cheers

Met my practicum students. The few ones who actually made quite an impact during my practicum days. They are already P5! I taught them when they were P3! 2 years?!

Sunset @ Stadium

Love their antics and intro to a fun and enjoying game I learnt that day!

A rubber flower girl at night

Corat-coret malam

Lebih kurang setahun lebih yang lalu, aku baru sahaja memulakan alam pekerjaan. Haluan yang kabur ku tetap lalui. Ku jatuh, ku bangun ku mula dari tingkat yang paling bawah. Hingga aku tertanya-tanya, inikah hidup yang bakal ku lalui setiap hari? Adakah aku insan yang kuat untuk menahan segala ketidakstabilan yang ada waktu itu?

Hari ini aku mengimbas kembali seakan masa-masa bermulanya aku di sini. Bezanya, aku sudah setahun lebih berpengalaman. Peristiwa pahit dan manis telah ku lalui. Aku dapat rasakan aku ada sedikit kemajuan berbanding masa lalu kerana pengalaman dan kesibukan setiap hari membuatku mempelajari sesuatu setiap masa. Aku berharap aku semakin yakin untuk maju ke hadapan walaupun aku tahu, tohmahan yang tidak mungkin enak di gegendang telinga kadangkala akan wujud pada bila-bila masa. Aku juga sudah belajar tentang talam dua muka. Aku hanya berdoa aku tidak tergolong dalam manusia sebegitu.

Kini, aku diberi kepercayaan berada di hadapan. Setiap hari, mula dan pulang. Itukah salah satu potensi yang ada dalam diri? Aku masih belum mendapat kepastian. Cuma nampaknya anak didik yang tidak ku kenali sudah mula menyapa diri ini. Itu tidak bermakna aku sudah menjadi seseorang. Jauh lagi perjalanan.

Rak-rak buku dari satu menjadi dua. Meja kerjaku juga bertimbun dengan buku. Satu hari jumlah buku menipis, hari itu juga jumlahnya meningkat. Satu hari nampak hampir kosong, hari itu juga penuh tiada tempat. Hari-hari akan datang juga pada minggu hadapan, terpaksa bekerja lebih kuat, 12 jam sehari. Maklumlah, perlu tiba ke sekolah jam 7.25 pagi. Aku bersyukur sekolahku dekat. Satu hari di tempat kerja, duduk di meja paling lama 1 jam sahaja. Lainnya? Ke hulur, ke hilir...

~ Setelah sebulan dengan sandal sukan tanpa stoking, akhirnya, hari ini kembali mencuba kasut dan stoking. Parutku terasa gatal sedikit dan kakiku melecet pula.

~ Bulan rezeki, kerana bonus yang masuk ke dalam akaun. Tiada niat untuk berbelanja pada bulan ini lantas bonus disalurkan pada akaun simpanan setelah 3 bulan tiada fulus untuk disimpan. Mentelah lagi, aku bukan kaki belanja. Perbelanjaanku selalunya pada buku-buku, alat tulis, keperluan komputer atau jika ada rezeki lebih, barang sukan. Alhamdulillaah.

~ Keinginanku selepas musyarawarah tadi untuk pulang dengan teksi terpaksa ku tahan. Semata-mata untuk menyimpan wang. Lebihan lagi, aku berpeluang untuk menyemak karangan murid aku di kereta api. Hanya berjaya menyemak 7 dari 38 karangan yang ada.

~ Esok sejurus selepas Subuh, keluarlah diri ini ke dunia luar dan pulang hingga larut malam gara-gara ke NS. Lusa pula, menyahut medan ilmu pada awal pagi dan kuiz pertama untuk modul itu yang hanya dapat ku baca tadi sewaktu perjalanan ke musyawarah setelah waktu kerja.

~ Malam ini, aku terkesima. Kerana pandangan manusia, kerana terimbas hidup yang lama. Namun demikian, hanya satu yang amat ku terasa di lubuk yang paling dalam yang aku harap Allah dapat membantuku.

X X X

intelektualku bukan setinggi mana...
intelektualku bukan seperti rakan-rakan lainku...
yang lebih pintar, lebih cerdik hingga berjaya ke menara gading...
aku masih lagi perlu usaha untuk ke sana...
suatu hari nanti...

malam ini sungguh syahdu...
Tuhan, berikanku kekuatan...