' Why She Won't Wear Hijab '

I had a good read on this email... Sharing it with you readers...

"I'm so tired."
"Tired of what?"
"Of all these people judging me."
"Who judged you?"
"Like that woman, every time I sit with her, she tells me to wear hijab."
"Oh, hijab and music! The mother of all topics!"
"Yeah! I listen to music without hijab…haha!"
"Maybe she was just giving you advice."
"I don't need her advice. I know my religion. Can`t she mind her own business?"
"Maybe you misunderstood. She was just being nice."
"Keeping out of my business, that would be nice..."
"But it's her duty to encourage you do to good."
"Trust me. That was no encouragement. And what do you mean `good` ?"
"Well, wearing hijab, that would be a good thing to do."
"Says who?"
"It's in the Qur'an, isn't it?"
"Yes. She did quote me something."
"She said Surah Nur, and other places of the Qur'an."
"Yes, but it's not a big sin anyway. Helping people and praying is more important."
"True. But big things start with small things."
"That's a good point, but what you wear is not important. What's important is to have a good healthy heart."
"What you wear is not important?"
"That's what I said."
"Then why do you spend an hour every morning fixing up?"
"What do you mean?"
"You spend money on cosmetics, not to mention all the time you spend on fixing your hair and low-carb dieting."
"So?"
"So, your appearance IS important."
"No. I said wearing hijab is not an important thing in religion."
"If it's not an important thing in religion, why is it mentioned in the Holy Qur'an?"
"You know I can't follow all that's in Qur'an."
"You mean God tells you something to do, you disobey and then it's OK?"
"Yes. God is forgiving."
"God is forgiving to those who repent and do not repeat their mistakes."
"Says who?"
"Says the same book that tells you to cover."
"But I don't like hijab, it limits my freedom."
"But the lotions, lipsticks, mascara and other cosmetics set you free?! What`s your definition of freedom anyway?"
"Freedom is in doing whatever you like to do."
"No. Freedom is in doing the right thing, not in doing whatever we wish to do."
"Look! I've seen so many people who don't wear hijab and are nice people, and so many who wear hijab and are bad people."
"So what? There are people who are nice to you but are alcoholic. Should we all be alcoholics? You made a stupid point."
"I don't want to be an extremist or a fanatic. I'm OK the way I am without hijab."
"Then you are a secular fanatic. An extremist in disobeying God."
"You don't get it, if I wear hijab, who would marry me?!"
"So all these people with hijab never get married?!"
"Okay! What if I get married and my husband doesn't like it? And wants me to remove it?"
"What if your husband wants you to go out with him on a bank robbery?!"
"That's irrelevant, bank robbery is a crime."
"Disobeying your Creator is not a crime?"
"But then who would hire me?"
"A company that respects people for who they are."
"Not after 9-11"
"Yes. After 9-11. Don't you know about Hanan who just got into med school? And the other one, what was her name, the girl who always wore a white hijab…ummm…"
"Yasmeen?"
"Yes. Yasmeen. She just finished her MBA and is now interning for GE."
"Why do you reduce religion to a piece of cloth anyway?"
"Why do you reduce womanhood to high heals and lipstick colors?"
"You didn't answer my question."
"In fact, I did. Hijab is not just a piece of cloth. It is obeying God in a difficult environment. It is courage, faith in action, and true womanhood. But your short sleeves, tight pants…"
"That's called `fashion`, you live in a cave orsomething? First of all, hijab was founded by men who wanted to control women."
"Really? I did not know men could control women by hijab."
"Yes. That's what it is."
"What about the women who fight their husbands to wear hijab? And women in France who are forced to remove their hijab by men? What do you say about that?"
"Well, that's different."
"What difference? The woman who asked you to wear hijab…she was a woman, right?"
"Right, but…"
"But fashions that are designed and promoted by male-dominated corporations, set you free? Men have no control on exposing women and using them as a commodity?! Give me a break!"
"Wait, let me finish, I was saying…"
"Saying what? You think that men control women by hijab?"
"Yes."
"Specifically how?"
"By telling women how and what to wear, dummy!"
"Doesn't TV, magazines and movies tell you what to wear, and how to be `attractive'?"
"Of course, it's fashion."
"Isn't that control? Pressuring you to wear what they want you to wear?"
[Silence]
"Not just controlling you, but also controlling the market."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you are told to look skinny and anorexic like that woman on the cover of the magazine, by men who design those magazines and sell those products."
"I don't get it. What does hijab have to do with products."
"It has everything to do with that. Don't you see? Hijab is a threat to consumerism, women who spend billions of dollars to look skinny and live by standards of fashion designed by men…and then here is Islam, saying trash all that nonsense and focus on your soul, not on your looks, and do not worry what men think of your looks."
"Like I don't have to buy hijab? Isn't hijab a product?"
"Yes, it is. It is a product that sets you free from male-dominated consumerism."
"Stop lecturing me! I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB! It is awkward, outdated, and totally not suitable for this society ... Moreover, I am only 20 and too young to wear hijab!"
"Fine. Say that to your Lord, when you face Him on Judgment Day."
"Fine."
"Fine."
[Silence]
"Shut up and I don't want to hear more about hijab niqab schmijab Punjab!"
[Silence]
She stared at the mirror, tired of arguing with herself all this time.
Successful enough, she managed to shut the voices in her head, with her own opinions triumphant in victory on the matter, and a final modern decision accepted by the society - but rejected by the Faith:
"Yes!" - to curls on the hair - "No!" - to hijab!

"And he (/she) is indeed a failure who corrupts it [the soul]!"[Holy Quran 91:10]
Subhana'Allah!!!

"Nay! You prefer the life of this world; While the hereafter is better and more lasting."[Holy Quran: 87:16-17]

"You are the best community (Ummah) raised up for (the benefit of) humanity; enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong and believing in Allah."[Holy Quran: 3:110]

x x x
For some it takes time to change. But it's better to seek than ignore. For those who are ignorant, He shall lock their hearts and not know the truth and the sweetness gained later.

Chemicals of thy heart

A dreamer of Science
A hope long past
An experience once gained
Shred with regret and pain

The love of biology
The nature of human body
Wonders of God’s bounty
Beauty of the Almighty

When life stumbles and fails
Shunning the worries to no avail
Questions linger and the mind sways
Seeking paths and pacing trails

The time has come
When the lead’s been done
A different field where the green grass yield
A different show where the seeds will grow

The new book’s been published
With new chapters without Science
But stories of values
And the pages of life

For what thyself feels good
Might not be well at all
It’s all a bless in disguise
Of two common grounds
With two distinct roles

Still feeling blessed
With the showers of love
As the spirit of knowledge
Binds within the soul

It doesn’t end here
With might it shall flow
With courage it shall heave
With prayers it shall glow

Penned: April 23, 22:25 hours

* De unforgettable April *

The day when my digicam was still at the service centre.

Since it is a week before the end of April. A sneak peek to one of the unforgettable moments in the month of April.

It was D-day. Awaited much with enthusiasm. Meeting the ol' mates full of healthy crap (y is it healthy? Cos, it is OUR trademark). It turned out well after all although some couldn't make it at the last minute, leaving only the 6 of us. It was a surprise affair for 3 of the April babies and the lucky one April baby boosted the energy to make our day a fruitful one. So it was on, then cancelled and on again. Thanks to y for driving us all the way to Far East.

Once seated; normal updates on stuffs, hot issues and serious discussions. The hotness of the issues were tantamount to the hotness of the food that some of us burnt their tongues, huhuh . Then, our common idionsyncrasies and exuding personal traits on interesting talks, always of avail to us.This is the part that outsiders usually finds us weird, but we're us after all. This outing has made me happy in terms of us, being in different fields, manage to link up cases with opinions and relate back to what we have learnt in our own area. And I am proud of them *nods* showing how we have bloomed and grown despite keanak-anakan yang masih terserlah bila bersua

I pray that we'll be able to hook up again and treasure every moment once more! Credits to Nul, our clan's official camera girl

Starts now!

Do you know that my IIUM exams will commence in a week's time? To add, one of the examination dates falls on the ohh-first-time-saya-vote day. Well, lucky me I have no duty during the mari-undi day. And this particular pic was taken after one of our lectures last two weeks. Not wasted, but enriching because me and Didi our sympathetic-manja persuasion managed to influence Humaira to stay with us instead of mugging alone! Sorry, Humaira... *evil grins*

At work, oral exam is starting next week for my students. Drilling them with the new format of questions. Education. It keeps on changing. Just when you are trying to blend in with the new syllabus, a new one comes in, in 2008. Apart from that, you have to keep yourself updated and understand the local trends and hype of your surroundings.

My P5s had their 3-day outdoor survivor camp last week. It was held at MOE's Changi Club Adventure Centre (is the name right?) specially catered for schools having outdoor camps. It's a new place. MT teachers had to fetch on the first and last day, with first aid boxes. Went there on the 2nd night for camp fire. But, the weather has been raining all the while, so we had the camp fire with presentations by the tribes at the canteen area (the students' grps are called tribes) as well as us who got sabo-ed by the p5 form teachers to do cheers (the teachers' presentation part). As for me, pulled by a colleague to join in the cheer... Back in school, some of my students lost their voice especially the boys (too much shouting Ooooooi, these kids). I guess I am already immune to projecting my voice that losing it is a very rare case. And drinking lots of water really really helps. Now everywhere I go, I won't forget my red Nalgene bottle.

Pinning up pictures would be a choice for this event, here. But due to my digicam under servicing, regrettedly no pictures are available on the camp. Just collected it yesterday and it was FOC with new lenses now. Wee!

With the fixed digicam at hand, you will now be able to view some of the things that happened this week...
Today, had a storytelling telling comp called the 'Pertandingan Tok Selampit'. Just an info, tok selampit is a person who tells stories to the kids during the olden days. It is also known as Sastera Rakyat. Out of 300+ schools who participated, only 30 schools were selected for the final round. Only 3 schools were selected with 2 finalists. The rest with only one representative. So, my school was one of the lucky 3 schools to get selected with 2 participants. One, from my class. Although they only got through as the top 20 in the end, I am proud of them because they are still winners. And I thank one of my colleagues, with only her alone, managed all this. I decided to follow and help because of my student and the fact that it's a toll on my cikgu who had to do this alone. It was also a time to meet with my batch and reminiscing the memories of performing Wisata Sastera @ the Woodlands Regional Library Audi. I miss school. I miss all those.

To top it all, this was the surprise dinner I planned for my parent's 25th anniversary. No outside food allowed. Only my cooking for makan malam. Although tired after work, I'm surprised I still had the energy to cook for them. Well, all for the name of love!

The time has come

K.I

I forgot all about K.I! Well, I was all excited to go for it last few days because of the topic this time round apart from the factor that it's in the east and the night of a public holiday. How could I ever miss it?

Well, for sure I totally don't remember at all. But was out to spend time with emak. So, it's not so bad after all, no? And I am doing something special for my walidain tomorrow morning for breakfast. Yes, last 2 days was their 25th Nikah Anniversary! But the big hooray for the special day will be spent during the June holidays *can't wait!*

Some things to ponder on work's side. Got feedbacks. Ain't talking about it. But I will take each step as a challenge to prove my worth. Well, I know I am no more a beginning teacher. So expectations will be a step higher. At least one thing for sure, I am not a NATO to one of the sharing sessions and I am very very glad that my P5s are using it. Infact, the internet will be one mode of teaching to them. Nope, not surfing, but assignments as well. So, good luck, me!
I know I got a lot to learn as I am still new, but I need a healthy environment to work in as well. Not an environment full of gossips, okay? And I need the light to help me follow the right path.

And I gotta buck up on my time management. It's always been that since I was small. Maybe it's just too much this time round. I really am struggling until I don't realise that the side effects are pretty bad. And thanks katak that you understand. Cos some individuals really don't. I'm quite a slacker actually... I remembered back in NIE when we were to guess our friend's personality. The second majority votes about me were categorised under judgemental (no, not judging people) but being organised in planning and stuffs. I am soo not an organised person okay? When things pile up, my clumsiness and forgetfulness increases. And things scatter here and there, huhuh.

As an end note, I'd love to dedicate this impromptu poem to my parents...

Dua jiwa berpadu menjadi satu
Nikmat Allahul Wahidu
Membina mahligai syurgawi
Meniti cabaran duniawi

Suka duka silih berganti
Harungi badai, onak dan duri
Kasih sayang tersemat di hati
Berjuang terus agar cinta tak mati

Syukurku padamu ya Illahi
Bahagia mereka di syurga abadi
Mengajarku erti kasih yang suci
Semangat didikan tidak pernah luput
Walau nasihat kekadang tak ku turut
Yang bakal berpisah hanyalah maut

Du'aku...
Ya Allah
Engkau telah mengurniakan walidain sa'adah
Kebahagiaan dan ketenangan di sebalik kesukaran
Sejahterakanlah hidup mereka hingga ke Jannah
Kerana pantang menyerah kalah
Kerana merekalah hanya aku sahaja juara fil usrah...

x x x

Happy bloggin my P5s! *huhuh*

Ombak yang resah

Terasuk kepekatan malam
Di hati yang mengata
Di mulut yang membisu
Di wajah yang membeku


Menggamit ilusi kau dan aku
Seribu bicara pun
Andai hati mengecam diri
Masih sukar untuk mengerti

Apakah akan terpancar nur
Mereda sempitnya ruang kabur
Yang mengharap jalan terus
Tanpa tersedu aku terjerumus
Dalam cinta yang ku harap mulus

x x x

Andai mulut dapat bicara
Hanya hati bicara, tapi mulut terkatup bisu

Getta in de loop!

Assalamu'alaikum world...

International Friendship Day ended last week with colleague donning the foreign costumes. Exquisite ones like the Spanish kain kembang-kembang', kimono, jubah, hanbok (Korean), Moroccan traditional costume and lots more. There was a photo-taking booth for students or staffs to snap a picture of 2 of the traditional costumes. (You know the ones where you put in you head and pose). Activities like flower-making were carried out. Best ones were showcased at the human-made garden with frendship messages. Sports Day were also at the hype @ Tampines Stadium and the staff and family games that me and a colleague planned for went well alhamdulillah. Only I wished the prizes were much better. And some of my ex-students as well as my current ones managed to clinch good ranks in the competition.

With the end of the past week I am still in the midst of 'Kindness in Blossoms' to commemorate the Singapore Kindness Week. Lots of activities were carried out including story-tellings, showcased poems and lots more. But one significant thing that intrigued me yesterday was the trees beside the school during flag-lowering. Flowers bloom in pinks and whites! Subhanallaah. The beauty of Allah's creations. It sooooo reminded me of the trees during summer... like the ones I watch in Japan or Korean movies, huhuh.

So, I don't have pictures to show you at the moment. It was such a colourful event though. Partially too, my digicam is starting mood swings for the first time, like not wanting to operate in 'camera' mode. 'View' mode is okay so far. Feel like I'm losing a lot of the interesting catch and snaps!

My exams should be next week, but due to the extend and make-up lectures, it'll somehow coincide with my students' exams too. Yey~ both ce'goo and budak-budak take exams together-gether. Quite a bulk to study due to the time constrains. By the way, some of you asked the modules that I'm currenly taking in Sem 1... here it is:

1. Revelation as Source of Knowledge
2. The Islamic Worldview
3. Fiqh al-Sirah
4. Introduction to Islamic History and Civilization

In addition, I have one more assignment to finish!

Let's take a breather and move on!

Separuh sedar ke...

Apa khabar alam maya?

Sejak kebelakangan ni, saya memang bukan diri saya yang selalu. Sama ada saya dalam keadaan separuh sedar (subconsciouss), saya pun kurang pasti. Jangan tanya kenapa. Tak tahu pulak akarnya. Amanah-amanah semakin menggunung tinggi. Ada juga perkara-perkara yang kurang penting yang saya letak di belakang dan maju ke hadapan. Tapi nampaknya, kesan sampingan dia menjadi-jadi hingga macam-macam insiden yang berlaku pada diri yang buktikan saya bukan dalam keadaan biasa. Agak lain macam atau ganjil. Dan saya amat minta maaf kepada mereka yang sms tidak saya balas, mahupun email yang tadi saya tengok dah 115 angkanya. It is sooo not me.

Contoh? Dalam perjalanan ke SC minggu lalu, singgah Masjid Sultan untuk Maghrib. Tapi, saya ibarat pelancong yang mencari-cari arah – berhenti, menoleh, tidak dapat apa yang dicari. Sedangkan, jalan ke sana sudah menjadi kebiasaan. Astaghfirullah. Adalah lain-lain insiden yang segelintir sahaja tahu dan lihat dengan mata mereka kelakuan ganjil saya ni.

Hal lagi satu, adakah lulusan dip ni teruk sangat? Saya fikir tidak. Hanya sebab semakin ramai yang ajar BM ni hanya ada dip sahaja, seolah macam ada isu. Ada jugak sentuh tentang golongan minoriti tetapi peratus tertinggi dalam gejala sosial. Sebab pendidikan moral penting untuk didik budak-budak ni dari rebung lagi. You get the drift and the link of this two?

Cuma saya prihatin. Yang ada lulusan pakai topi pun tak dapat pilih nak ajar peringkat menengah atau rendah. Yang ajar rendah hanya yang ada dip. Bab tu lah ada teman-teman yang tak nak sambung jadi lulusan pakai topi sebab 99% ajar menengah. Satu hambatan.. bagi saya… Yang nasib je dapat rendah. Yang hanya lulus pakai dress tanpa topi pulak kena pertingkatkan diri.. tu memang saya tak sangkal.

Cuma ada betulnya kata dia, bila kita jadi guru, kita jadi 24 jam guru. Di luar pun orang lain pandang. Jadi, di luar dan di dalam mesti dijaga. Kita dalam bidang pendidikan. Lebihan lagi kalau kita orang Islam.

Teringat pulak kata lecturer UIA saya minggu lalu...
”Ones who enter Jannah are the Mu’mins.. not the Muslims”

Darahku berderau sekejap mendengar kenyataan dia.

Let us ponder on this…

X X X

I need the motivation to go on.
As another amanah is being put on shoulder
By others' faith on me
To realise my faith.. to Allah

Apa berlaku so far?

Dah 4 hari tidak menulis. 4 hari juga rasanya macam agak lama. 4 hari rasanya memang terlalu banyak yang berlaku sampai tertanya Adakah aku ini Superwoman? Atau mungkin robot wanita baru zama siber? Hahaha...

Di sebalik kesibukan, mungkin ada peristiwa-peristiwa dalam hidup yang buat kita tersenyum:

1. Jadi videographer untuk Discovery Journey for the whole P3 level. Di Taman Haiwan Mandai. Yang bestnya, aku dapat jugak petik gambar binatang-binatang yang menarik. Satu je gambar posing cantik si harimau bintang yang tidak sempat ku petik. (Yang best, budak-budak yang aku ajar semua pergi sama hari dengan aku. Dapat bonding skit!)

2. Bila rasa runsing, kehadiran anak-anak didik lama yang ceria bila lihat kita. Bila tengok gelagat dan kenakalan mereka, haiz kita pun ada jugak yang sama macam dorang waktu kecil dulu.

3. Aku naik ligat sewa video pada minggu lalu. Mungkin itu satu cara nak rasa releks lepas kerja. Walaupun hal kerja pun kena bawa balik rumah, rasanya tidak larat bila otak berserabut macam kelapa. Whatever it is, I'm a sucker for Korean movies now, selepas dah lama memang melekat ngan cita Jepun.

4. At last dapat tonton filem 'Kiamat Sudah Datang'.

5. Ex-classmate nikah. Nur Sarhani dan Uthman. Selamat pengantin baru.


Ingat seorang sahabat katakan, Kita hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukan. Memanglah kata-kata ni quite cliche di telinga aku. Cuma, kita lebih merasai hangatnya kalau apa yang kita rancang, tidak boleh kita selesaikan. Dan masa inilah masa yang amat hangat aku rasakan bila apa yang kita usahakan dan lakarkan, mungkin diganti dengan keutamaan lain yang perlu dihabiskan....

x x x

Why are some individuals selfish, thinking their own benefits?
Feeling the heat.
Call it friendship, i call it shit.

Yang pasti ku genggam

Sejuta bintang menyanyi
Di antara yang satu
Mungkin cahaya dan impian ku
Di sini....Gemilang..

Lalu ku redah onak duri dan lautan api
Kemuncaknya ingin ku tawan Aku jelajahi
Kini gemilang itu semakin pasti ku genggam
Gemilang suara keyakinan kian dalam
Gementar harus jangan
Jiwa ku terus(harus) bertenaga
Mungkinkah ini menjadi realiti...

Lagu Jac yang pastinya membawa semangat untuk aku terus berusaha menggapai cita-cita yang telah ku pacakkan pada tahun ini. Alhamdulillah, Semester 1 sebagai seorang siswa berjalan dengan baik walaupun kesukaran tetap wujud. Ada 3 modul untuk diselesaikan sebelum peperiksaan akhir tahun tiba pada bulan depan. Ini juga bermakna projek dan tugasan yang terbengkalai perlu diselesaikan! Ciayok, ciayok!

Yalin pula amat positif dan memberi motivasi untuk aku terus berkarya. Do'a Yalin terkabul nampaknya. Baru semalam bersembang. Yalin, saya hampir selesai satu cerpen yang entah mana datang ilhamnya. Yang pasti, tanpa pertolongan Allah untuk bantu saya dengan usaha ini, tak jadi pun cerpen ni. Harap-harap usaha untuk 'dipanjangkan' (quote dari Yalin), bakat ini membuahkan hasil. Tak mudah, tak mudah...

Kuiz 2 dan 3 dah dikembalikan.

Quiz #2
widz : A
humaira : A-
Quiz #3
widz : A
humaira : A

Quiz #4 was okaylah. Cos I expected another question to come out. But, Dr. gave the other, haha, tough luck. The final quiz will be straightforward and bull's eyes answers as well. That's the tough part. Actually, it's more of the exams to churn out good inputs as a real challenge. May Allah give all of my coursemates the Hikmah and Rahmah to be well-prepared in this. Baarakallaahu Fiikum!

Untuk kaum Hawa

Dedikasi kepada kaum Hawa
Biar menggoncang dunia, dengan goncangan keimananmu...

A piece from a friend...

Jangan Biar Kau Terkurung

Airmata hawa gembira tertitis
Kau bebas dari resah yang memeringkuk
Bebas mencari identiti di sebalik tembok menakluk

Masih ada berjuta Fatimah Zahra' di permuka dunia
Mengindah maya seperti Rabiatul Adawiyah dengan cinta

Jangan biarkan sesiapa mempersoalkan kemampuanmu!

Di antara deru angin bernada pesimis
Pecahan ombak yang cuba menghakis
Kau masih bertapak tersenyum sinis

Rebahkan gunungan penghalang sinaran
Jangan lelah mengasari gelombang kebimbangan
Buaikan dirimu dengan lagu di kala ragu
Bernyanyilah bersama gerimis cemuhan
Gemakan impianmu agar mereka tahu
Niat dan perananmu dalam putaran waktu

Wanita,
Ibaratkan dirimu permata indah
Kerana martabatmu dijunjung Rasulullah
Engkau lambang seribu pesona pujangga

Terus maju kaum hawa ku sanjung
Lukiskan riwayat hayatmu tersimpul agung
Buat kaum hawa

-- Elmi Zulkarnain

x x x

Dan qalbu hawaku masih perjuangkan hati
Menunggu kepastian yang masih mencari
Menanti tibanya saat penunjuk Illahi

Apakah ini yang sedang ku rasakan?

Cerpen: Ketika Akhirnya Saat Memutuskan Itu Tiba

Ketika akhirnya saat memutuskan itu tiba… Aku tahu aku kehabisan cara untuk mencari-cari alasan, hal yang selalu aku lakukan saat berhadapan dengan kata: menikah. Bayangan tentang sosok seorang ikhwan yang akan selalu ada di sampingku selama aku ada di dunia, seseorang yang akan jadi orang yang paling tahu tentang diriku, bahkan lebih dari ibuku. Rasa ini yang mungkin pernah membuatku ragu untuk segera menikah.

Aku memang seorang perempuan yang tak ingin merasa terikat. Aku selalu membayangkan diriku seekor kijang yang berlari dengan bebasnya di dalam rimba raya tanpa ada siapapun dan apapun yang membuat kaki lincahnya berhenti melompat. Kenikmatan dalam melakukan keinginan-keinginanku nampaknya membuatku begitu segan memiliki seseorang yang aku pikir bisa membuat langkahku terseret. Sementara rimba ini begitu luas dan aku cuma ada ditepian sebuah danau saja. Aku masih ingin melakukan apa pun ke manapun sesuai keinginan.

Menikmati hidangan Allah di alam ini. Tak peduli apa yang orang katakan, tak peduli apa yang orang inginkan denganku. Aku merasa paling berhak dengan kehidupanku. Sosok suami bisa menjadi hambatan bagi kemajuan seorang perempuan karena ia dituntut untuk patuh pada suaminya. Mungkin itu gambaran yang sedikit banyak mempengaruhi pikiranku. Belum lagi ketika harus hadir seorang anak.

Namun kini ketika tiba-tiba ada sebentuk cinta sederhana yang ditawarkan kepadaku, aku termanggu. Tak bisa aku berkata. Tulus, apa adanya. Segala teori dan argumentasiku membisu. Tiba-tiba ada rasa aneh yang mengelus rasaku, dan aku tahu itu kerinduan. Rasa ingin dilindungi, rasa nyamannya berteduh. Rasa ingin disayangi, ingin menjadi orang yang istimewa untuk seseorang, ingin merasakan indahnya berkorban, bahagianya memberi. Bagaimana rasanya dipaksa untuk memahami orang lain hingga keterpaksaan itu bermuara pada keikhlasan. Ingin mencoba memaknai kepatuhan dari sudut pandang Allah, merasakan apa maksud Allah menyuruh seorang istri patuh pada suaminya.

Rasa ini menjelma menjadi sujud-sujud panjang yang basah di tengah sunyinya malam. Begitu lama aku belum lagi merasakan kemesraan dengan-Nya. Entah mengapa hadirnya nama seorang ikhwan membuatku ingin sekali lagi memeluk Allah dan berbisik; Tuhan, diakah cinta dari-Mu? Allah… benarkah ini?...

Ditawarkan sebuah cinta dari hamba-Nya, aku malah berlari mengejar kasih-Nya. Malam-malam sunyi yang biasanya membuaiku kini aku terangi dengan rakaat-rakaat panjang diakhiri bisikan basah yang jatuh di tanganku. Memohon ilmu-Nya yang menyamudra memilihkan yang terbaik untukku. Menyerahkan jiwa ragaku dalam tangan-Nya. Meluaskan hati ini untuk cinta-Nya. Aku benar-benar merasa jatuh cinta pada-Nya. Duhai… apakah ini?... Hadirnya ikhwan itu membuatku begitu dekat dengan Allah. Inikah jawabannya, Kekasih?...

Kebersamaanku dengan Allah menuaikan keyakinan dalam diriku. Dia seperti membisikkan entah dengan apa, tapi aku merasa yakin ini benar, bahwa inilah jalan kebaikan yang Allah bukakan untukku. Pintu ini dan saat ini.

Maka ketika Allah telah membuka pintu-Nya untukku, seberapa hebatkah diriku menolak untuk melangkah ke dalamnya?. Mungkin aku tak tahu apa yang akan aku hadapi saat melewati teras rumah-Nya, tapi aku tahu Dia ada bersamaku, di dalam diriku.

Dan aku akan punya seseorang yang akan selalu menggandeng tangan dan menguatkan langkahku, menuju diri-Mu, Allah…

- Kafemuslimah.com

x x x

son u que quiere aceptarme para mi fuerza y la debilidad..
esperar el para llenar mi espacio vacío ~
Wallaahu a'lam...

The piece of heart

...someday
they may return
and fill
the space i have waiting...

" Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn’t returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges — giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. "

Masih terngiang-ngiang akan topik yang sama

Ku mulakan dengan Bismillah sebagai pembuka bicara...

Soalnya, antara keempat-empat liberalisme, mana satu yang paling berbahaya? Pada pendapatku, liberalisme sosial.

Kenapa tidak shahsiah, siasah atau budaya?

Mungkin pandangan saya berasaskan beberapa peristiwa sejarah dan juga etika sebagai seorang Muslim. Cuba kita renungkan, Rasulullah sendiri diutuskan untuk menyempurnakan akhlak manusia.

إنما بعثت لاتمم مكارم الاخلاق

Oleh yang demikian, hal ini merupakan yang paling asas yang perlu ada dalam atma setiap masyarakat Islam. Pastinya, perkara ini juga berkaitan dengan hati manusia. Kenapa? Jika kita lihat dalam sebuah hadith, diperbincangkan dengan mendalam tentang hal ehwal niat itu diperbetulkan sebelum melakukan sesuatu. Niat kita itu akan menjadi pemangkin kepada sesuatu perbuatan. Etika sosial pula amat berkait rapat dengan hal ehwal sikap dan sifat seseorang terhadap sesuatu perkara.

Justeru, jika seorang liberal sosial tidak menginginkan kehidupan sehariannya dibelenggu oleh garisan yang dianggap menyekat kebebasan kerana inginkan kebebasan individu, bukankah itu melanggar etika agama kita? Sewaktu aku di kuliah dahulu pun, membincangkan tentang isu-isu yang berligar di sekitar teks-teks sastera tentang kebebasan. Sememangnya, tiada kebebasan mutlak, jelas pensyarahku. Dan aku percaya liberalisme yang lain itu juga adalah berasaskan dari etika yang awal. Ethics remember... etiquettes. Baik politik, ekonomi dan budaya semuanya ada adab dan akhlaknya. Dan sosial amat dekat dengan adab dan akhlak seseorang.

Kalau liberalisme sosial paling bahaya, bagaimana dengan pendidikan? Tidakkah tergolong dalam bahagian sosial juga?

Jawabku kepada pensyarahku, benar. Siapa kata pendidikan itu salah? Aku jelaskan kepadanya bahawa Islam memang menggalakkan pendidikan. Dan semestinya kita tahu mana yang dibenarkan oleh syar'iah dan mana yang tidak. Jadi, perlulah pilih sosial yang segaris dengan landasan yang ada, bukan hal kemasyarakatan yang membawa kepada social decadence.

Apa jua, semuanya terletak kepada values seseorang itu. Sedangkan dalam bidang pendidikan sendiri, apa yang ingin diterapkan dalam para pelajar ialah peri pentingnya unsur-unsur positif ini wujud dalam jiwa mereka. Dan aku selalu ingatkan mereka, tiada gunanya bijak atau pandai, tetapi akhlak tiada. (peringatan kepada diriku juga)

In the first place, how do you define liberalism? All of us have our own connotation and liberal thoughts. Yet, is it total?

Kebebasan ada hadnya. Lihat sahaja strata sosial masa kini. Biarlah mereka fikir tentang hak asasi yang tiada batas. Sendiri perlu ingat, selagi kita hidup sebagai seorang Muslim, kita masih ada dua permata utama yang menjadi landasan.. القرآن والسنة

Kalau kita fikir bahawa bebas itu mutlak, mengapa perlu lagi berlandaskan kedua-duanya sebagai penunjuk jalan? Sedangkan kita diperintahkan oleh Allah dan Rasul untuk berpandukan kepada القرآن والسنة.

Islam acknowledges liberalism, yet there is no total freedom. If you want to act liberal, ensure that it aligns with syari'ah, Usul Fiqh and the Tauhidic fundamentals. As for me, I am the guided liberal.

What has been typed here is to the best of my understanding and knowledge. Allah knows best.

I want to share my story...

Two really really tough struggles of the day. Struggles of the mind which flows to the exhaustion of the entire jasad. So I skipped qiyam although I wanted to go, but Aula of today's class was really at its peak.

One unique trait of today's paper is the technique used by Dr. And he loves to use that technique with other IIUM students as well. A mental exercise to fit in a limited space even before answering the question. So how would you answer a question given only a limited space to write? Hmm, that's why I told you, critical yet creative. The assessment of this exam was based on 4Cs - comprehensiveness, conciseness, clarity and convincing.

A first encounter of an open-book exam, like other of my friends who commented on the concept of open-book, ain't easy. And given 2 hours 10 mins to complete this in a limited written space, spent 1 hours making a stand on the topic. In fact, I only started to write 40mins before the time ended. Just to fulfill the 4Cs was a brain cramp. Spent 30 minutes on the 1st part and only 10 mins on the 2nd part. More excruciating was the fact that Dr. assessed directly in class whilst continuing on our individual presentation.

That was my 2nd struggle of the day. Dr. wanted today to be the sisters' moments. Actually I really felt like fainting. Firstly, I ate late breakfast. And the adrenaline rush of touching the exact same topic with the topic of the exam is nerve racking. I kept telling humaira I wanted to go back home. I was really having a headache. Was whining the way through and contemplating on my limitations and confidence. But dear humaira mended the broken wing, haha. Actually it wasn't the presentation but the challenge of being challenged with thought provoking questions especially from the ikhwan. (They love asking critical superduper questions that requires some thought processes before answering). And it wasn't an easy topic for me: 'Liberalism'. How will I answer their questions? Convincing enough ke? Atau memalukan je...

And I just discovered today, the trademark of my presentation style and the way I portrayed myself made them guessed the line I'm in. Akhirnya, the ustaz have stopped thinking both widz and humaira as current students. Haha, nampaknya tak boleh nak elak dah ni. Yang penting, struggles really bear the fruits of ni'mah.

Jiayo! At the end of the day, the two scatterbrains known as widz and humaira fruited A- again for the exam... Alhamdulillaah...
*Tak sia-sia beb, muggin' nak crazy walau tertidur terbangun macam nak hapa ye di abode masing-masing*

X X X

Akhirnya, diri ini sudah dapat mencapai tahap perasaan yang diinginkan kembali. Semakin baik, semoga tandanya juga baik... Syukran Ya Allah...

Misson completed!

Nothing much yesterday. But it was a tiring day.

A sharing session with a master teacher early in the morning.
Workshops, sharing sessions and more programmes in term 2 and future. Some interesting involvements that I might do the coming term ahead especially the one in June. Only if I am selected, I hope. Because that might be a good platform for me.

So...some dates are booked. In fact, booked from April till September. Yes, the September hols included! Yesterday was also the Semis for some of my IT kids. It was a 3D game competition by LTA opened to the schools in Singapore. Wonder whether they managed to go to the finals? Actually, I was supposed to go to Funan with them if not for the programs held yesterday. But for me, even if they are just in the Semis, I'm proud of them.

And the bloggin' workshop went well alhamdulillah. It was the first experience as a trainer in the profession so far. Most importantly, the objectives were achieved and continued, hopefully on a long-term basis. What more can I offer but not for the talents bestowed upon me as a servant of Allah? Except for those who prefer to keep the knowledge to themselves. Be stingy. I believe in sharing the knowledge I've gained to the best of my ability. And it is better to share something which you know rather than something you do not - main asal boleh.

To end, my latest poem penned at bustan puitika...

Mulut Salty-Salty...

Today is the mulut masin-masin day...
A mulut masin and productive day indeed...

Widz was ready to fight a battle. A battle @ work...

With the dusts... *achoO*

Oh yes, she geared up herself with a weapon called niqab and carried on with her work. Discovered lots of effective teaching tools along the way, reshuffling the table arrangements as well as dumping the unused texts.

Yet another battle to complete @ work...

With the computers... *sighs, again?*

Can't get enough of the online world, Widz had to be in the frontline with Buff to teach other mugchekgoos the art of blogging battle. If not, tomorrow, all of us will turn to goblogs (sorry the pun)

Next, a battle with the food... A battle of bliss...

Munching cheezburgers *yum yum*

A productive discussion as well. This was when the mulut-mulut masin came into place. Were discussing about an 'Abdillah and *poof* speaking of the devil, Allah's power... Mulut masin no.1 came into reality.Next, were talking how passionate both were about journalism, writer, an author, columnist, and whats nots. Our goals, our failures, aspirations, future life as well as our struggle as students. *Poof* Buff's article was published in the Singapore Writers Society's mag!

That was Mulut masin no. 2.

Nampaknya, it's my turn to start something, start small but consistent as a contributor of any publications there is. And I hope that particular platform will provide me the first opportunity to unleash what I possess (perhaps?) But will I achieve this? Or will it just be a dream unfulfilled?

Nevertheless, 2 mulut masin encounters were sufficient enough for today...

This will be my first main and big contribution to my mugchekgoos and the school - A bloggin' workshop. Glad that Buff's with me... Pray for me friends...

x x x

Lucha en cada aspectos de mi vida...

Ya Allah, 私はあなたの愛からの彼の愛を追求する

Fasabrun Jameel

Musibah dan Sikap yang Betul

Umat Islam menyedari sejak awal lagi, dunia adalah tempat ujian dan tribulasi. Syurga adalah tempat kesenangan yang abadi. Justeru, umat Islam bersedia untuk bersabar dengan segala ujian di dunia. Pada masa yang sama, mereka berusaha dengan bersungguh-sungguh bagi mencapai matlamat. Tuhan memberitahu dalam surah al-Baqarah ayat 155 yang bermaksud, “Sesungguhnya Kami pasti mengujimu dengan sedikit ketakutan, kelaparan, kekurangan harta, jiwa dan buah-buahan. Dan berikanlah berita gembira kepada mereka yang sabar.”

Walau bagaimanapun, ujian yang menimpa ini tidak berterusan selama-lamanya. Ia hanyalah satu proses pendidikan dan pembangunan diri yang diperlukan sebelum kejayaan dan kemenangan dicapai. Inilah yang dijanjikan Tuhan dalam surah as-Syarh ayat 5 hingga 6 yang bermaksud, “Sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kesenangan. Sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kesenangan.” Hal ini diperkukuhkan lagi melalui kata-kata nabi yang dilaporkan oleh Imam Tirmizi yang bermaksud, “Sesungguhnya kejayaan bersama-sama dengan kesabaran, kelapangan bersama-sama dengan kesusahan dan sesungguhnya berserta dengan kepayahan adalah kesenangan.”

Selain itu, ujian menggugurkan dosa. Dalam sebuah hadis yang dilaporkan oleh Bukhari dan Muslim, nabi berkata, “Tidak ada satu pun musibah yang menimpa ke atas Muslim, sama ada kepenatan, sakit yang kronik, kerisauan, kesedihan, sebarang kesakitan dan kemurungan, sehingga duri yang terkena di badannya, melainkan ia akan menjadi kifarat baginya dari dosa-dosa.”

Oleh sebab itu, bukanlah perkara pelik apabila umat Islam berterima kasih serta bersyukur kepada Tuhan apabila ujian menimpa mereka. Berhubung dengan ini, Omar bin Khattab pernah berkata, “Apabila aku mendapat ujian duniawi, aku bersyukur kerana terdapat padanya empat nikmat. Pertama, ujian itu tidak berkaitan dengan agama. Kedua, ia tidak begitu besar berbanding ujian agama. Ketiga, aku akan mendapat keredhaannya dengan ujian itu dan keempat aku mengharapkan pahala daripadanya.” Inilah fikiran positif yang sepatutnya dicontohi.

-- Cemerlang dengan Sabar dan Sikap Positif, Lelaman PTS

x x x

Moga kesabaran perit ini membuahkan keredhaanMu Tuhan
Moga natijahnya diiringi senyuman kenikmatanMu
Moga keputusan itu meleraikan kekusutanku

Light

Apa yang menceriakan bumi
Setiap hari setiap waktu pagi
Membuat wajah berseri

Bagaimana tumbuh-tumbuhan
Terus segar didalam kehijauan
Di dalam hutan dan taman
Nur... cahaya sakti

Di tengah kegelapan malam
Ketika bintang di langit berkerdip-kerdipan
Indah seri sang rembulan

Ketika insan kealpaan
Ketika kejahilan menutup kesedaran
Siapa petunjuk jalan

Nur... cahaya sakti

Nur adalah kuasa semulajadi
Nur adalah asal asli rohani
Nur tercipta dari azali
Nur... nur... nur...

Do you remember this song? I'm sure those Art Fazil listeners know this very well. I fancy his songs. Basically, I love songs which make you reflect on life. I mean yes, songs do reflect realities of life. But ones which reflect on humanity and touches the power of the Almighty is something which is close to my heart. M Nasir's or Ebiet G Ade rock my socks as well. The reason why I put this song was when I reflected myself about TC last week. That particular moment, I switched on the radio and sat down for breakfast. Then, the DJ played this song. What a coincidence, eh? I never reflected well on the lyrics before this. But since that day, I found the beauty behind the lyrics.

I don't want to be sad nor be afraid. Yet, as humans you tend to feel it. You don't know what the future holds for you. But everyone feels that way don't they? If we know our future, and know our luck, perhaps everybody might be so proper and the world will be different than what it is. I have my own weaknesses and I am trying a lot to improve on those. Be it taking risks and fall here and there, I have to face the music. By the way, I felt really glad that some sahabats are patient with my weaknesses in certain skills which I lacked. Depending on them forever is a bane for me. So I'ved decided to strive hard for this goal and be consistent with it. Like what my lecturer said recently, it is better to do something little, a step at a time but consistent rather than doing something huge but you get tired in the end. There is a hadith which says about this too. And since I was given the privilege for the skills and the amanah, I must be responsible. To myself, and to the ummah who needs it.

And what the lecturer said made me reaffirm certain decisions and choices which I have to make in life. Everyday, I feel a certain jitter. Uneasiness is something you don't ask for. A jitter which I hope is a positive sign from Him. I just have to keep believing...